User:Deadned

Advanced Weaponry

2H Club Page, table form:

Two Handed Clubs

2H Sword Page, table form:

Two Handed Swords

Ranking snapshot

As of 2/7/2011: https://spreadsheets.google.com/oimg?key=0Aif98F4DSRQzdDJlTzlKbl9qSWZLcTNOdXQ0dDF4Q3c&oid=2&zx=erypg8rfesk8

The chart above shows the number of softcore players (sorted by rank, so no double counting) in each daycount

As of 1/31/2011 https://spreadsheets.google.com/oimg?key=0Aif98F4DSRQzdGwzTnBzU1hyXzVzSGdJU0hPdlVqclE&oid=2&zx=4e8859xllgw4

The chart above shows the number of hardcore players (sorted by rank, so no double counting) in each daycount

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Introducing: The Crimbo Ascender

I love my Mr Store items, and really enjoy using them to ascend in the game and do stuff I usually couldn’t do before (sewer level, kill tower monsters, etc).

But it also breaks my tiny, cold heart when a newer player is getting into ascending and doesn’t have the resources that I have (I think this is common, I remember someone’s suggestion of renting gear). I would like to propose the next best thing; cheap ascension gear requiring very few skills to use. Oddly, most of it is crimbo gear, and can be obtained for a few days of castle farming.

Crimbo

Paperclippery This is one of the better outfits in the game. You’re going to want the whole thing to get the blocking effect. Wearing the outfit, you get a moderate boost to stats and damage, DR, HP & MP regeneration, Init, stats, and extra rollover adventures. 70k

Crimbo off-hand: These are pretty expensive compared to the rest of our gear.

• Ball-in-a-cup +2 Myst substats
• handmade hobby horse +2 Mus substats
• set of jacks +2 Moxie substats

Toy mercenary Funkslinging this babies is pure gold; 60 damage per round is amazing. Costing between 5-10 meat per combat round per merc, toy mercs will set you back less than 10k per ascension – far cheaper than buying mana from the knob goblins to fund shield butt. 30k

Other things

Since you’re always hitting, blocking most of the time, and dealing a PILE of damage, you should consider increasing monster level.

• C.A.R.N.I.V.O.R.E. button –15ML/ 60k
• Hippo whip – 10 ML/2k
• Annoying pitchfork* -5 ML/cheap (probably not worth a pull, you can get it when you’re going muscle sign in for <10 turns)
• mind control devices - keep it as high as you can can for as long as you can.

Hookah Mostly just a cheap +5 to familiar weight, but you’ll occasionally get a fun buff.

Pumpkin bombs Tradable yellow rays of sunshine and happiness. Pulling one can save you 3 pulls (for 2 saved pulls [net gain]). Stock them in Hangk’s as bombs and untinker later if pie or beer is needed.

• Useful for Miner and war outfit

For about 300k (less than three days of castle farming), you can begin to ascend very cheaply. The only skill needed to be effective is Ambidextrous Funkslinging. Adding +non-combat skills, consumption skills, familiar weight skills and passives will help. By the time you're able to survive Ur-kels the entire run (30-40 permed skills), you'll be able to decide on the Mr Store gear you want.

The Downside

Too good to be true? Sort of. The paperclippery outfit is incompatible with the swashbucking outfit and the battlefield warriors. Sewer leveling and burglaring the bedroom before you start the level 6 quest are out of the question. Getting to level 6 on day 1 to eat your pies is very difficult without many skills.

Crimbo Ascender Roadmap

A day-by-day guild would be inappropriate (and stressful!). Shit like, "you should be level 6 by day one or you're totally out of luck and on your own buddy" isn't helpful. The roadmap aims to give you a order in which to do things, but not necessarily a time frame. It's also geared toward low skill, low budget non-mr-store players, "Now just pull your Grimace Gown" doesn't apply to 99.9% of KOL players. If you have one great, you probably already know what you're doing. This is geared towards players who understand how to beat the game, but with a 0-skill, low budget perspective. It is by no means a definitive guide on how to ascend.

Basic Strategy Overview: We're going to make use of the regenerative properties of the paperclip suit, this means we're going to be doing two things at the same time: a high level zone for stats, and a low level safety zone that needs to be done to finish (example: at level 6, you'll want to do the friars and liver quest, but will also have stuff to do like the hidden temple unlock). Always move to the area with higher stats for as long as you can survive. Getting beaten-up gives you zero stats, costs a turn and makes the next three turns crappy. The cheapest way to get stats is though monster level (1 ML = 1/4 stat point), increase monster level as much as you're comfortable to maximize stats from combats.

Combats are going to consist of funkslinging toy mercs; skills worth perming to make combat better would be Pastamancer's Entangling noodles, anything that gives +init is also worth perming too. Bonerdagon and Naughty Sorceress steal the mercs, use another method to defeat these bosses.

Powerleveling is going to be difficult for low skill, low budget runs. If you need to powerlevel before level 6 (you have lots to do, so probably not!) the hidden temple is good in terms of difficulty to stats gained. Better stats per adventure exist other places, such as Hobpolis sewer combats or spookyraven Bedroom, but these are generally inaccessible until you have Mr A gear. Spookyraven billiard room gives decent mainstat per adventure (mainstat is what you really want). The bathroom is accessible at (buffed) mainstat 68 (corresponds to unbuffed level 9), but with some market buffs, and a few other minor enchantments it's accessible earlier, I recommend powerleveling here as soon as it's open even if your mainstat isn't mysticallity - we're going to be calling Guy made of bees to finish the flyering on the level 12 quest later.

The absolute best place to powerlevel is the spookyraven powerleveling zones (gallery, ballroom and bathroom); increase non-combat rate in the gallery and bathroom, increase item drops (and sniff) waltzers in the ballroom. However, depending on your +non-combat or +item, you may find other places such as Mt McLargeMcHuge's icy peak or the palindrome are more viable powerleveling locations FOR YOU.

Estimate powerleveling efficiency from non-combats as:

<average stats from combats>*combat rate + <average stats from non-combats>*non-combat rate

Familiar usage: the two big things you want are stats and items, so a volley type or a fairy type are going to be with you most of the run. Leprechauns are marginally useful in softcore ascending since you can pull something to autosell and really only need +meat% for the level 12 nun sidequest. Try not to get sucked into using a Cocoabo type since these give neither stats nor +items.

Turn gen from food: Food doesn't need to be made in-run. You want to eat mostly key lime pies. Eating a Boris key lime pie saves somewhere between 4-8 turns in the daily dungeon, and a handful of turns (split with the other keys) in the dungeons of doom looking for the zap wand. Pulling 3 star key lime pies, hat + sword + chart (6 pulls total) saves 40 to 60 turns of opening the hole in the sky, farming stars + lines + charts. The Digial key lime pie saves about 6-10 turns in the digital realm (per key), but the stats are pretty good, drop rate is pretty high and is a nice zone to use as a buffer, so pull digital key limes last if it looks like you wont need the buffer. Mainstat chow mein or hi mein should be your fallback food. Value milk as a pull worth 10 turns.

Turn gen from drinks: Making drinks in run is preferred. You should get liver of steel. On shorter 3 day runs, getting liver is a wash in terms of turns generated vs turns spent getting if you're drinking advanced cocktails (ACs are worth 3 turns per drunkeness, you get 10 extra points over the 3 day run from liver, giving you 30 extra turns). AC drinks are very good, and worth a perm early. Tavern gives booze, and you really don't encounter any base booze(rum, whiskey, etc) until pirates and goats. Figure out if pulling a AC or SHC is worth the turns over basic cocktail for you. Ode to booze is a useful skill to perm after you get adv. cocktail crafting.

Turn gen from spleen: Spleen gives the worst fullness to adventure ratio, and is pretty expensive to fill. If you decide to pull spleen items, the not-a-pipe is the best (after karma and cans of air).

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Starting out

The Big Goal is to hit level 6 without eating, so we have room in our tummies to eat some delicious key lime pies. This is very had to do; 3 tavern drinks give you 30 - 42 adventures, plus the 40 you start out with gives an expected range of 70-82 turns. If you're able to get to lv 6 without eating, great! Eat some key lime pies, and get started on the liver quest (seriously, drop everything else and GET LIVER)

Level 1:open the manor, get they encryption key from the goblins. There isn't really much to do yet. Talk to the man in the Gourd Tower if you have enough for a gourd potion (unlikely). Choose combats in the choice adventures to maximize stat gain.

Level 2: spooky forest. Get the mosquito larva ASAP, you want the tavern open for drinks. Use getting the Tree-holed coin, map, and then the sapling as a buffer. Pull the spooky-gro fertilizer.

Level 3: Tavern. you want the drinks. follow the wall to the bottom left corner. sometimes the faucett is at square 3,3 so it's worth checking that square when you hit the corner at 4,4.

Level 4: Bat hole & Level 5: Knob. The way I see it, pulling a harem veil and pants and spending 1 adventure in the harem to get the perfume is perfectly fine for a regular 4 or 5 day run. The alternative would be to use a semi-rare on the guard, spend 3 adventures gathering cake stuff, 1 adventure making the cake (total:5 turns, 1 SR) vs pulling the harem pants and hat, using the veil in guano junction, and 1 statless adventure getting perfumed (2 pulls, 1 adventure). DO NOT FIGHT THE GOBLIN KING - he's tough! He'll get the jump on you, and kill you in one shot. Wait until later when you can take a hit.

With the Harem Veil, use a clover in guano junction to get 2 sonars; open the side areas. fight the beanbats until you get an enchanted bean, then move over to the ratbats (they have a higher drop rate for sonars). Getting a scream bat is perfectly fine. Bodyguard bats have a high meat drop rate, consider using a lep type to maximize meat.

Level 6: use whatever non-combat stuff you have to speed up this area. Consider running a fairy in the heart and elbow until you collect 3 hot wings, then swap back to a volley type. I like to go Heart->Elbow->Neck.

Liver This is important to get. Non-combat speeds up the Rackets, Combat speeds up the Comedy club. Use the hot plate for a shield if you're getting hit, spend meat in the market to get HP up. You should be using a fairy type in both zones. Expect this area to take about 30 turns. Don't give the Racket items until you have 5 bus passes.

We made a beeline to gt liver, and brushed past doing a bunch of stuff

• spookyraven 2nd floor unlock
• Digital key
• Hidden Temple Unlock
• Knob lab unlock/Goblin King
• Island unlock

I don't see any point to do the following

• farnsworthy's basement unlock
• Daily Dungeon
• Greater than sign / Dungeons of doom
• Guild quests
• Nemesis stuff

The ugly middle part

The Big Goal here is to get stuff: cheeses, outfits, cleaning supplies, and ores. We're going to pull most of it, but it's more efficient to collect some of it on our own. We're going to hit a wall when we get to level 10 and need to spend some time powerleveling, this will mark the end of the middle. Opening the Goblin Dispensery (knob elite outfit + 1 turn in barracks ) will save quite a bit of stress here and is probably a good use of a semi-rare. Goblin Eyedrops pair well with pet-buffing spray when using a fairy type.

Take 3 shore trips spaced 33 turns apart to get a lv 6 tower item (orchard, dynamite, fence). It would be great if the island was unlocked by the time we finish the level 8 quest, since that's a shorter quest and we can start on the pirate stuff. Now would be a decent time to kill the Goblin king.

Level 7: crypt. Expect 40-50 adventures here. hit up your main stat corner first, increase non-combats. Each corner takes 10-12 turns. Toy mercs will be less effective now, and it will take longer to kill each monster. Skip non-combats that don't give mainstat, use the Drawers in the Cranny corner to regain HP/MP; the stats there are comparable to a combat. Postpone the Bonerdagon [DO NOT USE TOY MERCS ON BONERDAGON he will steal your toys and make you cry]. Do some of that other stuff now.

Level 8: Mt. McLargeHuge. Pulling a pumpkin bomb here will save 2 pulls or (about) 20 turns. Bomb the dwarf (they all drop the same things) or pull the mining gear, getting stuff from non-combats is pretty slow. Pull the ore (3 ores take ~10 turns to get, but you don't get any stats so they're considered to be crappy). Open the goatlet with the mining gear. You want to hunt down the cheeses yourself. miner's hat gives +item, Goblin Lab buffs help, and the food buff from the friars should be considered too. Use a fairy. Expect to take 20-25 adventures. You don't care about the trapper's rewards right now for getting cold protection, so let it wait until you get the black paint in level 11.

Swing back and kill the bonerdagon when you think you can kill him. If stat day is tomorrow, save the chest for then, otherwise open it now.

Finish opening the island. We're going to open up the pirate cove now. If you're feeling brave, increase non-combats and try for 1 or 2 pirate outfit items from non-combats. pull what you need. Buy the dictionary and insult book. get 6-7 insults, and then do the Captain's tasks. 3 hot wings from the friars and a frilly skirt from the knob is the fastest way to get the dentures. Avoid the drunk choices in the barrr. open the f'c'le and powerlevel to 9 (bathroom would be great + setting up GMoB).

Level 9: Leaflet and Valley of rofl. Do the leaflet quest. The adding machine may take a while to show up; it's set with a delay of 10 combats in the zone. Upgrade one of your toy mercs with a dictionary. I like to pull a 4-D camera and use it on the ascii art (the semi-rare). With ML +35 and funkslingling, you're able to get the 31337 scroll and the Gate scroll in the same combat. You can't really do anything to influence the appearance of the adding machine, and you don't really need the drops so use a volley type in this zone.

On the f'c'le: boost item drops. 234% will guarantee drops, but 80-100% is more likely. Miners hat is +5%, towel folded into a cape is another 5%, goblin lab stuff, fairy and whatever else you have. The trick here is reduce non-combats while increasing drop rates.

After the poop deck is opened, leave and go unlock the ballroom in spookyraven, choose mainstat or fights if strong enough. Powerlevel to 10.

Level 10: Airship/Castle. Airship takes at least 40 adventures. Non-combat speeds up the area slightly. Airship bounty is worth doing. Choose fighting in the non-combats (never treasure or stats). Doing +ML/stats for first 20 turns and then +non-combat the next 20 turns will help maximize stat gains and minimize zone time. Immaterias are non-combats with a delay of 10,20,30,40 turns in the zone, not "ten turns since last Immateria".

Castle: This zone is MUCH TOUGHER than the airship. Wait to do this zone until you survive a few hits from them. Boost non-combats, turn the wheel once, go talk to the council.

Things get worse (the end is near)

A bit of history: Level 11 and 12 were tacked on after too many people beat the game in one day. Not only do you need a pile of stats to get to level 13 from here, you need to start maximizing multiple things (no longer just items). the Big Goal here is to spend as little time doing these quests as possible as well as powerleveling before we need to. We want the fight with Ed the undying and The Man to bring us to the next level. Paperclippery gear isn't as strong now, it's okay to swap out stuff.

Level 11: MacGuffin. Order is important here. Black forest for the map, eyes and wings. shore for the diary. Unlock the oasis, burn the negative buffs in the hidden temple. poop deck to open below decks to open the palindrome. before you go in the palindrome, open the wine cellar in spookyraven. boost items and non-combat, go in the palindrome. if the ketchup hound and stunt nuts show up before the 3rd non-combat item, great! otherwise, pull those things and adventure until dr awk shows up. adventure in the lab, get the mega gem. DO NOT FIGHT DR AWK YET. Let the non-combat buffs run out (keep +item) looking for wine in the cellar. consider using the friar's booze buff. DON'T FIGHT SPOOKY YET! Now let +item run out and boost +non-combat in the desert. It takes me about 20 turns, so i use the clover adventure in the oasis. If the drum machine didn't drop in the oasis before the stone rose, pull a drum machine. Oasis stuff is pretty good, so don't fret if it takes a while. After the pyramid is revealed, go to the hidden city and do that. you want to avoid the non-combats (+combat please!). Pile on the +elemental, swap out to a elemental familiar if you have one and get to work. When the final Specter is up, use black paint from the black market and dig into your better buffs; we're going to fight all three bosses in sequence.

Head over to Mt McLargeMcHuge to get some meat from the trapper and finish that quest before the paint wears off.

In the pyramid now, upper chamber until you find the wheel. Save any tomb ratchets until after the wheel is placed. Once you find the wheel, go to the middle chamber (boost non-combat) and do the rotation stuff. If you found any ratchets, use those at the end. I don't consider ratchets to be a good pull; you need 11 and it will take 20-30 turns in an area with decent stats, and you don't really have anything to do except powerlevel to 12.

Fight Ed. I like to use a learning pill here, since i know it's going to be 7 combats, but in the grand scheme of things 14 stats (only 7 mainstat) isn't a big deal.

Level 12: War! I like to do this as a hippy; the ducks always take about the same number of turns, orchard isn't bad if I use cyclops eyedrops and the rest of my +item gear, and nuns aren't bad either. I skip Sonofa beach, do the Gremlins and flyer the GMoB. If all goes well, it takes about 150-180 turns (most of a day) and I have about 12 pulls leftover for tower items. Pulling the war hippy outfit is good, starting the war as a frat warrior and switching over to the hippy side works okay too. A pumpkin bomb saves a few pulls, but is unnecessary if you think you'll have extra pulls at the end of the day. Prioritize opening the produce stand first, the hippy fruit is a decent mainstat drink.

Turn in your frat gear, get some bandages for the shadow (5). if you're worried about low HP (you shouldn't be), try getting a battered hubcap before the war is over. Fight The Man.

Level 13: Naughty Sorceress. Not much to say here. Pull tower items, use the arena buff+pet-buffing spray+pet snacks+hookah weight+leash+empathy+sympathy+pulled sugar shield (you have a lot of options, you don't need to spend adventures with the pets). Get moxie to AT LEAST 200, pull a wand of Nagamar and go to town on the Sorceress.