User:LoopyChew

He launches a stick of dynamite at you, while raving madly. This is brilliant to him, and painful to you. Eek! Oof! Ugh! Ouch!

He hurls a length of string at you while ballroom dancing, and you get all tango'd up in it and trip over. Eek! Ugh! Argh!

He launches a stick of dynamite at you, but misses and ends up burning the floor.

He hurls a length of string at you, but you quickstep out of the way.

You gain 11-12 <substat>.

Notes

• Initially started as a Disco Bandit. Has, to date, ascended fifteen times, of which fourteen were Hardcore. His ascension history to date can be found in his signature in the KoL forums.
• Member of the private clan Furniture Warriors.
• Frequent browser and occasional poster to both the Forums and the Sored and Saucery community on LiveJournal. Has been known to pluralize "forums" as "fora" occasionally.
• Has unlocked 49 tattoos, of which 12 are the standard and one-shiny class tattoos; 24 trophies, inculding the Yeti trophies, This Lousy Trophy, and the Crimbo 2006 trophies; and contributed a marginal amount of meat and booze to the Council's efforts against the Penguin Mafia.
• Goals include being a recognized Haiclue master on forums and, after making all skills HP and attaining an Oxycore suit, reaching L15 and attempting a single, continuous run in Fernswarthy's Basement until, at least, he reaches the elusive -1 Bottles of Beer on a Golem. Also on a probably-futile quest to make the term "Spardcore" a commonly-accepted term for Speed Hardcore runs.

Ascension Record

1. Level 22 Disco Bandit (Advanced Cocktailcrafting)
2. Level 13 Hardcore Turtle Tamer, Blender (Amphibian Sympathy)
3. Level 12 Hardcore Disco Bandit, Blender (Mad Looting Skillz)
4. Level 11 Hardcore Accordion Thief, Teetotaler, Opossum (Moxious Madrigal)
5. Level 11 Hardcore Pastamancer, Teetotaler, Opossum (Pastamastery)
6. Level 11 Hardcore Pastamancer, Teetotaler, Mongoose (Leash of Linguini)
7. Level 12 Hardcore Sauceror, Teetotaler, Wallaby (Impetuous Sauciness)
8. Level 15 Hardcore Sauceror, Teetotaler, Wallaby (Advanced Saucecrafting)
9. Level 11 Hardcore Sauceror, Teetotaler, Vole (Elemental Saucesphere)
10. Level 11 Hardcore Seal Clubber, Teetotaler, Vole (Lunging Thrust-Smack)
11. Level 11 Hardcore Seal Clubber, Teetotaler, Vole (Eye of the Stoat)
12. Level 12 Hardcore Seal Clubber, Teetotaler, Vole (Double-Fisted Skull Smashing)
13. Level 12 Hardcore Disco Bandit, Teetotaler, Vole (Ambidextrous Funkslinging)
14. Level 11 Hardcore Turtle Tamer, Teetotaler, Vole (Empathy of the Newt)
15. Level 15 Hardcore Accordion Thief, Teetotaler, Marmot (Ur-Kel's Aria of Annoyance)
16. Level XX Hardcore Seal Clubber, Teetotaler, Marmot (In progress)