Cargo crab

Cargo crab
Monster ID	743
Locations	The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons
Hit Points	500
Attack	450
Defense	360
Initiative	150
Meat	160-240
Phylum	fish
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, leg, torso
Drops	imitation crab crate
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a cargo crab

This is a large hermit crab that has taken up residence in an old crate of imitation crab meat. You pause to wonder if crabs are capable of understanding irony, or if they're more like Alanis Morissette.

Hit Message(s):

not known

Critical Hit Message:

It pinches both of your legs while hitting you in the head with its crate. Ouch! Eek! Ouch! Ooh! Oof! Argh! Ow! Ooh! Oof! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to pinch you, but can't. Does that mean you're dreaming?

It tries to stomp on your feet, but can't accomplish the feat.

It tries to bang its crate into you, but you hide in a barrel.

It tries to clamp a claw on you, but you frighten it off with a ramekin of drawn butter.

Fumble Message:

It tries to ram you with its crate, but you stay in front of it. Since it can only walk sideways, you're completely safe. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You gain some Meat

You acquire an item: imitation crab crate (? chance)*

You gain 116 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons.

References

The description is a reference to Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic", which, ironically, doesn't contain any real irony.