A Volcanic Cave

Swim Back to Shore

You jump into the lava and swim back to where you started. And, boy, is it hot!

You lose some hit points. (hot damage)

After a certain number of attempts:

After getting stuck and swimming across boiling hot lava back to the beginning of the maze several times, it occurs to you that you could shortcut this whole stupid sonofabitch by simply swimming to the goal. However, your adventurer's instincts kick in, telling you that your final rewards will probably be lessened if you take the easy way out.

adds a new option below the Swim back to shore button

Skip this bastard maze (10)

Losing all you HP swimming back to shore gives you the following message:

You are way too weak to continue exploring this cave. You should heal up before you continue!

Introductory Text

Turtle Tamer

You follow Stella's trail through the hallways of her factory/warehouse complex. Eventually, you find yourself passing through a door into a rough stone tunnel -- it appears that your Nemesis built her hideout adjacent to a system of natural caverns.

Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a Final Boss Battle near a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the fruit cart doesn't get knocked over. Or fighting crime in a giant robot and never using Rocket Punch.

You wipe the sweat from your face as the tunnel ends at a massive lake of bubbling lava. In the distance, through the shimmering haze of the heat, you spot a small island. You can just make out the form of your Nemesis -- at this distance you can't tell what she's up to, but 'no good' is a safe bet. You'd better get there fast and put a stop to it, whatever it is.

You survey the little stepping-stones that periodically rise and fall in the boiling magma, and realize that this is seriously going to suck. In fact, this is going to suck so much that I kind of feel like I ought to apologize in advance. Still, it wouldn't be a final battle without an especially fiendish final puzzle, now would it?

Pastamancer

The hole beneath the Spaghetti Elemental's altar has a ladder bolted to one side, fortunately. You climb down for thirty or forty feet, until the shaft ends in a natural cavern underground. You cast a simple location spell to determine which direction the Spaghetti Elemental fled in, and pick up the chase.

Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a Final Boss Battle near a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the fruit cart doesn't get knocked over. Or fighting crime in a giant robot and never using Rocket Punch.

You wipe the sweat from your face as the tunnel ends at a massive lake of bubbling lava. In the distance, through the shimmering haze of the heat, you spot a small island. You can just make out the form of your Nemesis -- at this distance you can't tell what he's up to, but 'no good' is a safe bet. You'd better get there fast and put a stop to it, whatever it is.

You survey the little stepping-stones that periodically rise and fall in the boiling magma, and realize that this is seriously going to suck. In fact, this is going to suck so much that I kind of feel like I ought to apologize in advance. Still, it wouldn't be a final battle without an especially fiendish final puzzle, now would it?

Sauceror

You don't see Lumpy anywhere backstage, but fortunately its trail isn't hard to follow -- even without the sludge, the smell would probably be sufficient. A stairway leads down into some basement corridors and storage rooms, and then to a large metal door that swings open to reveal a natural cavern. Looks like the chase is heading underground.

Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a Final Boss Battle near a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the fruit cart doesn't get knocked over. Or fighting crime in a giant robot and never using Rocket Punch.

You wipe the sweat from your face as the tunnel ends at a massive lake of bubbling lava. In the distance, through the shimmering haze of the heat, you spot a small island. You can just make out the form of your Nemesis -- at this distance you can't tell what he's up to, but 'no good' is a safe bet. You'd better get there fast and put a stop to it, whatever it is.

You survey the little stepping-stones that periodically rise and fall in the boiling magma, and realize that this is seriously going to suck. In fact, this is going to suck so much that I kind of feel like I ought to apologize in advance. Still, it wouldn't be a final battle without an especially fiendish final puzzle, now would it?

Disco Bandit

You jog down the back hallway of the Disco Temple, and soon find yourself at the door of an ancient elevator. The door creaks open when you push the button, and you nervously inspect the interior. It looks okay, I guess. I mean, you kind of have to trust that the ancient Temple-builders knew what they were doing, right? You hum along with "The Girl From Ipanema" as the elevator slowly descends. After a while, the doors open to reveal a natural cavern underground. You're not sure which way the Spirit of New Whatever went, so you pick a direction and trust to the laws of narrative.

Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a Final Boss Battle near a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the fruit cart doesn't get knocked over. Or fighting crime in a giant robot and never using Rocket Punch.

You wipe the sweat from your face as the tunnel ends at a massive lake of bubbling lava. In the distance, through the shimmering haze of the heat, you spot a small island. You can just make out the form of your Nemesis -- at this distance you can't tell what he's up to, but 'no good' is a safe bet. You'd better get there fast and put a stop to it, whatever it is.

You survey the little stepping-stones that periodically rise and fall in the boiling magma, and realize that this is seriously going to suck. In fact, this is going to suck so much that I kind of feel like I ought to apologize in advance. Still, it wouldn't be a final battle without an especially fiendish final puzzle, now would it?

Continue

Accordion Thief

You track Lopez through the hallways of his mansion, then down some stairs into the basement, and then even further down, into a rough natural cavern. As you suspected, Lopez didn't build his hacienda right up against the mountain for reasons of simple defense, but also to provide an escape route through the underground tunnels. You quickly pick up his trail in the dirt and dust, and give chase.

Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a Final Boss Battle near a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the fruit cart doesn't get knocked over. Or fighting crime in a giant robot and never using Rocket Punch.

You wipe the sweat from your face as the tunnel ends at a massive lake of bubbling lava. In the distance, through the shimmering haze of the heat, you spot a small island. You can just make out the form of your Nemesis -- at this distance you can't tell what he's up to, but 'no good' is a safe bet. You'd better get there fast and put a stop to it, whatever it is.

You survey the little stepping-stones that periodically rise and fall in the boiling magma, and realize that this is seriously going to suck. In fact, this is going to suck so much that I kind of feel like I ought to apologize in advance. Still, it wouldn't be a final battle without an especially fiendish final puzzle, now would it?

Combat Adventures

Seal Clubber

---

Gorgolok, the Infernal Seal -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: None Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 185 • Substat Gain: ? • Moxie for No Hit*: 195 Monster Defense: 166 Hit Points: 260 Initiative: 90 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 25% elemental

---

Gorgolok, the Demonic Hellseal -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: Claw of the Infernal Seal, heart of the volcano, Instant Karma Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 200 • Substat Gain: 50 • Moxie for No Hit*: 210 Monster Defense: 180 Hit Points: 400 Initiative: 100 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 40% physical and elemental; soft damage cap

Turtle Tamer

---

Stella, the Turtle Poacher -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: None Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 185 • Substat Gain: 46.25 • Moxie for No Hit*: 195 Monster Defense: 166 Hit Points: 260 Initiative: 90 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 25% elemental

---

Stella, the Demonic Turtle Poacher -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: Garter of the Turtle Poacher, heart of the volcano, Instant Karma Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 200 • Substat Gain: 50 • Moxie for No Hit*: 210 Monster Defense: 180 Hit Points: 1000 Initiative: 100 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 40% all

Pastamancer

---

Spaghetti Elemental -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: None Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 185 • Substat Gain: ? • Moxie for No Hit*: 195 Monster Defense: 166 Hit Points: 260 Initiative: 90 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: (soft damage cap)

---

Spaghetti Demon -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: Instant Karma, heart of the volcano, Bandolier of the Spaghetti Elemental Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 200 • Substat Gain: ? • Moxie for No Hit*: 210 Monster Defense: 180 Hit Points: 600 Initiative: 100 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: Variable

Sauceror

---

Lumpy, the Sinister Sauceblob -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: None Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 185 • Substat Gain: 46.25 • Moxie for No Hit*: 195 Monster Defense: 166 Hit Points: 260 Initiative: 90 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 25%; soft damage cap

---

Lumpy, the Demonic Sauceblob -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: Gravyskin Belt of the Sauceblob, Instant Karma, heart of the volcano Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 200 • Substat Gain: 50 • Moxie for No Hit*: 210 Monster Defense: 180 Hit Points: 500 Initiative: 100 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: 40% elemental and physical; soft damage cap

Disco Bandit

---

The Spirit of New Wave (Volcanic Cave) -- (create metadata)
	Monster data missing.

---

The Demon Spirit of New Wave -- (create metadata)
	Monster data missing.

Accordion Thief

---

Somerset Lopez, Dread Mariachi -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: None Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 185 • Substat Gain: ? • Moxie for No Hit*: 195 Monster Defense: 166 Hit Points: 260 Initiative: 90 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: (soft damage cap?)

---

Somerset Lopez, Demon Mariachi -- (edit metadata)
	Item Drops: La Hebilla del Cinturón de Lopez, Instant Karma, heart of the volcano Meat Drop: None Monster Level: 200 • Substat Gain: blank • Moxie for No Hit*: value overriding attack/4 Monster Defense: 180 Hit Points: 1000 Initiative: 100 Elemental Alignment: None Damage Resistance: (soft damage cap?)

Notes

• Unlocked by defeating your nemesis the first time on the Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair.
• It is possible to bail on the lava maze and leave (say, for a rest at your campsite) but when you return, you will resume at the stone you were on when you left.
• Despite the seemingly confusing nature of the maze, there are in fact only 6 possible platform sets, each of which has 5 configurations. There is no overlap between the configurations within each set, with the exception of the goal. The configurations cycle around, with 1 leading to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, 4 to 5, and 5 back to 1. Maps of all 6 sets, their configurations, and solution paths exist for the adventurer who cannot figure them out, or wish to complete them without going through the puzzle solving process.
• During the final, final confrontation your Legendary Epic Weapon will change into your Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon, and your will have access to the skill it grants. You will keep this weapon if you win the fight, but if you lose, it will turn back into your Legendary Epic Weapon.
• If you choose to skip the maze, neither the heart of the volcano nor an Instant Karma will drop from your nemesis.
• There is no message for skipping the maze, you simply enter combat as if you had done it normally
• If you lose all your HP from repeatedly swimming back to shore, you gain 4 adventures of Beaten Up instead of the usual 3.
• All the spaces have float over alt-text, either "(X,Y Platform)" or "(X, Y Lava)," as the case may be. Lava spaces are sometimes "(X,Y Laval)"
• It is possible to solve the maze with no adventures remaining; however, it is not possible to confront your nemesis without any adventures.