Crazy bastard

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Crazy bastard
Monster ID	229
Locations	The Sleazy Back Alley, The Sleazy Back Alley (Retired) (ultra-rarely)
Hit Points	25
Attack	20
Defense	18
No-Hit	30?
Initiative	always
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	unknown
Drops	crazy bastard sword
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a crazy bastard

All of a sudden, a crazy bastard lurches out of the alley, and starts lumbering toward you with malice in his eyes. And in his eyebrows. Mostly in his eyebrows, actually.

You don't know this guy, but it appears that he wants to hit you. That's right -- some crazy bastard wants to hit you.

Hit Message(s):

He waves you over, then hits you. Why did you go over there? Ow! Ow! Ow! Ugh!

He smacks you in the face with his big ol' sword. It big ol' hurts. Ugh! Ouch! Oof! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

He waves you over, but you don't know that guy and you're not going over there.

He tries to smack you with his big ol' sword, but it's so big he can't swing it very fast.

Fumble Message:

not known

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After Combat

You acquire an item: crazy bastard sword

You gain 4-5 <substat>.

If you lose the fight:

You are knocked to the ground. As the monster walks off, he drops a white ribbon.

You acquire an item: consolation ribbon (100% chance)*

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Occurs at The Sleazy Back Alley, ultra-rarely.

Notes

• On April Fool's Day, 2006, this adventure appeared regularly for all users but dropped nothing.

References

• This adventure is a reference to the song "Bastard Wants To Hit Me", by They Might Be Giants: "Some crazy bastard wants to hit me/He's waving me over, so he can hit me/But I don't know that guy, and I'm not going over there"