Topiary golem

He kicks you with one of his leafy, thorny feet. You scream in pain with your leafy, thorny throat. Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Oof!

He smacks you in the <foot> with one exquisitely manicured fist. You appreciate the aesthetics while you bleed. Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Oof! Ooh! Ow! Ow!

He starts to attack, but is distracted by the pale guy with a bunch of scissors for hands who is giving him a manicure.

He tries to smack you with a fist, but notices an ingrown berry and stops to pick it out.

You acquire 62.7% chance hedge maze puzzles

You gain 36 <substat>.

Detective Skull: 148 Hit Points

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Occurs at The Hedge Maze

References

• The "pale guy with a bunch of scissors for hands" is Edward Scissorhands, from Tim Burton's 1990 movie of the same name.
• The golems are from the old text adventure Zork game - if you lingered too long in one of the courtyards, the hedges would come alive and kill you.