Fruit Golem
It throws a mango at you, hitting you right in the <kidney>. Argh! Argh! Argh! Eek!
It whacks you with a grapefruit, leaving a grapefruit-sized bruise on your <kidney>. Oof! Ugh! Ouch!
It tosses a bunch of bananas at you, then an orange. Orange you glad it stopped chucking bananas at you? Eek! Ouch! Ugh!
It smacks you with an impressive variety of fruits. It's like being attacked by some fiendish amalgam of Carmen Miranda and Chuck Norris. Ooh! Argh! Ouch!
It winds up to throw a coconut at you, but slips on a banana peel and misses. Irony!
It throws a mango at you, but you move aside and let the mango through.
It tries to hit you with a grapefruit, but misses, because a grapefruit is neither a grape nor a fruit. Either that or because you dodged.
It hits you with a barrage of grapes. They let out a little whine as they fly through the air, but don't really hurt when they hit.
It starts to attack again, but is beset upon by a swarm of fruit flies. Apparently they're attracted to his bananas -- everybody knows that time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
 | You acquire an item: cherry (16.5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: orange (14.8% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: lime (15.6% chance)* |
| You gain 11-12 <substat>. |
Occurs at Menagerie Level 1.
References
- The second missed attack is a reference to the Soul Coughing song "Super Bon Bon," which contains the line "Move aside, and let the man go through."
- The successful hit combat message is a reference to the quote "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
- The "barrage of grapes" miss message uses "whine" as a pun on "wine", which is made from grapes.
- "They don't call it a Fruity Golem" because "fruity" is occasionally an insult. "Internal bleeding" refers to what you would have after being physically assaulted by a Fruit Golem for calling it fruity.
- Grapefruits actually are fruits. They are called grapefruits because they grow in bunches like grapes.
