Mer-kin monitor
| Mer-kin monitor | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 852 |
| Locations | Mer-kin Elementary School |
| Hit Points | 750 |
| Attack | 650 |
| Defense | 650 |
| Initiative | 100 |
| Meat | 64-96 |
| Phylum | mer-kin |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, tail, torso |
| Drops | Mer-kin cheatsheet, Mer-kin eyeglasses, Mer-kin hallpass |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Mer-kin monitorThis Mer-kin student is in charge of monitoring the hallways, making sure none of the students get into fights. If a fight does break out, this guy has a high success rate at making sure the fight ends quickly and fairly for both sides. He's kind of a high-resolution monitor.
The Mer-kin teaching staff used to have a lizard doing the monitoring, but it kept eating the students.
Hit Message(s):
He sees you running in the hall and trips you. You land square on your <calf>. Ooh! Ugh! Oof! Eek! Ooh!
He smacks you for horseplay in the halls. Seahorseplay. Get it? It's a pun! Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Oof! Ouch!
He asks to see your hall pass, and smacks you with a ruler when you can't produce one. Ow! Argh! Ouch! Ooh! Ouch!
He straight-up punches you in the face. Seriously. I mean, the guy just hauled off and hit you. In the face. Man. Eek! Eek! Ow! Ugh! Eek!
He writes out a detention slip, then gives you a series of vicious papercuts with it. Then he whacks your knuckles with a ruler. What a jerk. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Oof! Oof!
He starts to attack you, but is distracted by another kid in the hall who has a CABBAGE for a HEAD!
He starts to attack, but is distracted by another kid in the hall dressed in drag.
He stops fighting to go and stop some seahorses from seahorseplaying in the hall.
He asks to see your hall pass, but is distracted by another kid in the hall trying to crush his head.
He runs off to grab a couple of other kids in the hall who are pointing at each other and yelling, "EVIL!" (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 64-96 Meat (average: 80, stdev: 6.93)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin cheatsheet (30% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin eyeglasses (5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mer-kin hallpass (5% chance)* |
Occurs at Mer-kin Elementary School.
Notes
- Along with all other monsters in this zone, this monster will shrug off stuns about 75% of the time. If the stun does land, it will always wear off on the turn after it was applied, regardless of its original duration.
- However, it is not immune to staggers.
- This monster has a soft damage cap that kicks in if your attack would do more than 500 damage. The actual damage done in that case is (X-500)^.75 + 500, where X is the damage your attack would have done without the cap.
References
- The fumble and most of the miss messages reference recurring characters or motifs from the Kids in the Hall comedy show, including "Cabbage Head," cross-dressing, attempting to crush someone's head between two fingers, and loudly declaring a mildly bad act "evil".
