Chester

Chester
Monster ID	698
Locations	The Purple Light District: Van, Damn
Hit Points	8000
Attack	500
Defense	450
No-Hit	510
Initiative	200
Meat	None
Phylum	dude
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops	Handful of Chest Hair, Chester's bag of candy, Chester's Aquarius medallion, Chester's moustache, Chester's muscle shirt, Chester's sunglasses, Chester's cutoffs, extra-greasy slider, Chorale of Companionship
Manuel Entry
	refreshedit data

You're fighting Chester

You walk around to the back of the van, and throw the doors wide.

"Oh, hey there! My name's Chester," says a mild-voiced hobo from somewhere in the front of the van. "Are you here for some candy?"

"No," you reply, " I'm here-"

"Did you wanna take a nap, then? I've got a real comfy mattress in here, if you're sleepy."

"Dude, no. I came here to-"

"To play with some toys? I've got all kinds of toys. Come on in here, and I'll show you."

"I'm not interested in your toys," you say, "I'm here to kick your ass."

"That doesn't sound like something a good little boy would say. That must make you a bad little boy. And bad little boys have to be punished."

He advances on you, and while the look in his eyes isn't exactly malicious, it definitely gives you the impression that he's picturing you naked. You shudder as you raise your weapon.

Hit Message(s):

He cranks the van's stereo up, and you're bowled over by an ear-splitting fragment of a Barry White song. Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Ow! Argh! Ouch! Ouch! Ow!

He grabs a jack from the back of the van, and beats you with it. You can't believe that jerk whacked you with a jack! Eek! Ouch! Ooh! Ouch! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Oof! Oof! Ugh!

He puts on some romantic music, turns the lights down low, and hits you really hard in the skull. Man. You weren't expecting that last part! Ow! Ugh! Eek! Argh! Eek! Eek! Ouch! Argh! Ouch! Eek!

He shows you a doll, and asks you to point to where you'd like him to touch you. You try to knock the doll out of his hands, but end up accidentally pointing at its calf in the process. Eek! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Eek! Ow! Ouch! Eek!

Critical Hit Message:

not known

Miss Message(s):

Worn out from chasing you around the van, he pauses to take a little nap on the mattress he keeps in the back of it.

Fumble Message:

not known

After Combat

You acquire an item: Chorale of Companionship (???% chance)*