Dad Sea Monkee

Dad Sea Monkee
Monster ID	1379
Locations	Mer-kin Temple
Hit Points	4200
Attack	42000
Defense	42000
Initiative	Always Wins
Meat	None
Phylum	horror
Elements	None
Resistance	varies
Monster Parts	cable, tank, window
Drops	Instant Karma, Star Spawn, Pocket Square of Loathing
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Dad Sea Monkee

You step through the door into a silent room with featureless white walls. In the center there sits a massive machine, the source of the noise. Pipes lead from the machine to ports on the blackened walls, pumping strange liquids into and out of the tank. In the tank, floating, almost peacefully, is Dad. His eyes are open but vacant. In them you see your reflection, standing in a tiny room. White. Silent. Black. Deafening.

The room is the machine occupies the room contains the machine contains the room describes the machine creates the room is the machine.

You shake your head and look above the tank, at the window into space. <Clue 1> forms <Clue 2> in the darkness, each more <Clue 3> than the last. <Clue 4> <Clue 5>, <Clue 6> revealing <Clue 7>-dimensional monstrosities.

No. Look again. There is nothing. <Is/Are> your <Clue 8> betraying you? As if on cue, <Clue 9>-sided triangles materialize and then disappear. So impossible that your <Clue 10> throbs.

You have to end this.

Hit Message(s):

The heat of a dying star scorches your <kidney> Ooh! Ow! Eek! (hot damage)

The chill of infinity coats your <arm> in frost. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)

A baleful eye stares at you from the depths of space. Ugh! Argh! Ooh! (spooky damage)

You smell the decaying flesh of an ancient carcass, as big as a thousand thousand suns. Oof! Ow! Oof! (stench damage)

A distant nebula's shape is painfully suggestive. Ooh! Ugh! Eek! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

You blink, and when your eyes open you are on the wrong side of the window. The air is sucked from your lungs. Blood sprays from your eyes and ears. You scream, but, well, you know. Oof! Oof! Ugh!

---

After Combat

You acquire an item: Pocket Square of Loathing

You acquire an item: Star Spawn

You acquire an item: Instant Karma

The machine begins to shudder and smoke...

Notes

• See Sea Monkees Quest for the steps required to get here.
• Before the fight, all your buffs will be removed and you will receive an effect that basically reduces the turn limit to 12. (This buff removal INCLUDES removing timers.)
  • This does not include effects with a Noremove flag, such as Everything Looks Yellow.
  • You can get buffs from other players or buffbots after your buffs are removed, but before starting the fight.
• He will do roughly 11% of your HP in damage to you every turn, ignoring elemental resistance.
• Immune to stunning and staggering:

  Unfazed, your opponent attacks you anyway!

• On the 12th round of combat with Dad the fight will end early, with the message

  The hole in the world has waited long enough. You collapse in on yourself and are no more.

• You cannot use combat items; if you try; you get the message:

  I can't I can't I can't. I can't I can't I can't.

• Immune to all but one elemental (or physical) damage type per round, varying from round to round and from combat to combat. The clues in the 3rd and 4th paragraph of intro text tell you which element will work each round. This is described in a forum post. Several tools exist to translate the clues for you:
  • original spreadsheet (error 404)
  • alternative spreadsheet for old versions of Excel (error 404)
  • a google spreadsheet (not clear how to use this one -- make a writable copy somehow?)
  • a greasemonkey script
  • a web parser
  • KoLmafia offers this feature as of r12262 (type "dad" in the graphical CLI after starting the fight). If you fight Dad in Mafia's relay browser, it will automatically autopopulate any appropriate Hobopolis spell you have.
• It is highly recommended to have at least both 1,200 MP and knowledge of all of the Hobopolis 120 MP spells. Knowing Volcanometeor Showeruption and Shrap helps increase your chance of winning.
  • Please note that for MP, you only have three possible equipment slots outside of the Clothing of Loathing to buff it up (back, accessory, shirt). All buffs you have will be removed before the fight begins.
• He has a hard damage cap of 301 per hit, so bonus spell damage is worthless. At max damage he needs be to hit 14 times to be defeated, which can only be done if you use attacks that hit multiple times per use, such as the Hobopolis 120MP spells, Volcanometeor Showeruption or Shrap.
• Lanterns, such as Petrified wood wizard's pouch, can add extra types of spell damage, ending the fight in fewer rounds.

References

• "You scream, but, well, you know." In space, no one can hear you scream.

The Clothing of Loathing
Hateful Habiliment	Lens of Hatred (AT)	Staff of Simmering Hatred (PM)	Cold Stone of Hatred (SC)	Pantaloons of Hatred (SR)	Fuzzy Slippers of Hatred (DB)	Girdle of Hatred (TT)
Violent Vestments	Lens of Violence (SR)	Pigsticker of Violence (DB)	Brand of Violence (TT)	Jodhpurs of Violence (AT)	Ass-Stompers of Violence (SC)	Novelty Belt Buckle of Violence (PM)	Dad Sea Monkee
Clothing of Loathing	Goggles of Loathing	Stick-Knife of Loathing	Scepter of Loathing	Jeans of Loathing	Treads of Loathing	Belt of Loathing	Pocket Square of Loathing
	Hat	Weapon (1-Handed)	Off-Hand	Pants	Accessory	Accessory	Accessory