Ed the Undying

{{battle |image=Mightyed.gif |name=Ed the Undying |text=You step into the chamber and discover a large stone sarcophagus, elaborately engraved and inlaid with gold. It takes all your strength to lever off the lid, but you soon get it open and discover the object of your quest, the Holy MacGuffin, radiating with its own inner light. It rests in the hands of a large mummy, wrapped in bandages of ancient silk and wearing a gold-filigreed crown.

You step back from the sarcophagus and ready your weapon. "All right, let's get on with it," you say. "I know for a fact that you're going to come to life and attack me as soon as I try to take the MacGuffin, so let's just cut to the chase."

"Tch, you're no fun at all," says the mummy, as it sits up and peers at you with a frown. "In my day, adventurers knew how to stick to the script."

"Sorry, it's been a ridiculously long quest, and I'm a little cranky. Feel free to make whatever menacing speech you had prepared."

"Thank you." The mummy clears its throat, and then rises malevolently out of the sarcophagus, its eyes glowing red with anger. "FOOLISH MORTAL!" it booms. "YOU WOULD DARE TO DISTURB THE SLUMBER OF THE MIGHTY ED, THE UNDYING?"

"Ed? Not Ed-Ra, or Ed-hotep, or something?"

"Nah, I was never much for the fancy titles. You ready? I gotta warn you, the 'undying' thing is for reals. I've got the ancient magic of the ages going here, and I'm seriously gonna grind you into paste. Soon, the jackal-demons of the Underworld'll be feasting on your entrails, and such like that."

"Give it your best shot, old man," you taunt. "I'm gonna knock you back into the stone age."

"I think it was the bronze age, actually."

"Whatever."

|miss=Ed swings at you, but he's slow enough for you to shuffle out of the way before it connects.

Ed begins to chant an ancient incantation, but is interrupted by a dust-induced sneezing fit.

Ed grabs you by the throat, but his hand pops off in a cloud of dust. You give it back to him, and he ties it back on with some more bandages. It's kind of an awkward moment.