Fruit Golem
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It throws a mango at you, hitting you right in the <bung>. Ow! Argh! Ouch! Ow!
It whacks you with a grapefruit, leaving a grapefruit-sized bruise on your <bung>. Ow! Ow! Ow!
It smacks you with an impressive variety of fruits. It's like being attacked by some fiendish amalgam of Carmen Miranda and Chuck Norris. Argh! Eek! Argh!
It winds up to throw a coconut at you, but slips on a banana peel and misses. Irony!
It throws a mango at you, but you move aside and let the mango through.
It tries to hit you with a grapefruit, but misses, because a grapefruit is neither a grape nor a fruit. Either that or because you dodged.
It hits you with a barrage of grapes. They let out a little whine as they fly through the air, but don't really hurt when they hit.
It starts to attack again, but is beset upon by a swarm of fruit flies. Apparently they're attracted to his bananas -- everybody knows that time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
 | You acquire an item: cherry (16.5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: orange (14.8% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: lime (15.6% chance)* |
| You gain 11-12 <substat>. |
Occurs at Menagerie Level 1.
References
- The second missed attack is a reference to the Soul Coughing song "Super Bon Bon," which contains the line "Move aside, and let the man go through."
- The successful hit combat message is a reference to the quote "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
- The "barrage of grapes" miss message uses "whine" as a pun on "wine", which is made from grapes.
- "They don't call it a Fruity Golem" because "fruity" is occasionally an insult. "Internal bleeding" refers to what you would have after being physically assaulted by a Fruit Golem for calling it fruity.
- Grapefruits actually are fruits. They are called grapefruits because they grow in bunches like grapes.
