Heartbreaker's Hotel
| Heartbreaker's Hotel | |
 | |
| Zone Num | 148 |
|---|---|
| Location | Hey Deze |
| Unlocks | Available in a Bad Moon ascension |
| Recom Stat | 0 |
| Combat % | 0 |
| ML | NA |
| Terrain | indeterminate |
| Special Adventures | |
| Lucky | None |
| refreshedit data | |
Heartbreaker's Hotel is located in Hey Deze.
Combat Adventures
Non-Combat Adventures
You can a random choice of four floors, one of which is always the lobby.
3rd
You step into the elevator, quip, "going up, sir," and push the button for the third floor. When the elevator stops, you say, "your floor, sir," and check into your room. You close the blinds, consider raiding the mini-bar, then lie down to get some shut-eye. As you drift off to sleep, you hear a ripping noise, almost like five razor-sharp claws ripping through your sheets from below and tearing up towards your sensitive nether regions.
You jolt awake, and the claws are gone. Then you see the box next to the bed that says, "Magic Razor-Sharp Claws, 25 meat." You don't remember putting any meat in the machine, but the sheets are torn to ribbons. You decide you'd rather climb out the window than have to pay to replace the linens.
11th
You ride the elevator up to the eleventh floor, then head to your room for the night. Before you go to sleep, though, you pull back the covers on the bed to make sure there isn't any chocolate on your pillow -- you're not going to fall for that one again. You had to ask for extras of those tiny shampoo bottles last time.
Instead of chocolate, though, you find a tiny dried-up monkey's paw. "Hmm," you think, "I bet this is one of those things that grant wishes. I mean, logically, if you find a dried-out monkey's paw on your pillow in a hotel in Hey Deze, it's bound to grant wishes, right? They wouldn't leave a plain old monkey paw on your pillow, that just wouldn't make any sense."
You sit on your bed and carefully consider what to wish for. "Let's see... I could wish for a twelve-inch pianist. Or for half of my head to be painted orange. Or to be beaten half to death... Oh, wait, I've got it."
"Monkey's paw," you say, holding up the nasty little brown thing and closing your eyes, "I wish I were the most powerful adventurer in the Kingdom!"
After a while you open your eyes, not feeling any different. The paw, you discover, has started to melt in your hand; turns out it's made of chocolate. You eat it. It's not very good chocolate.
In the morning, you inexplicably wake up at your campsite with the feeling that this has all been rather anti-climactic.
References
- Heartbreaker is the name that schizophrenic musician Wesley Willis gave to one of his "demon voices."
- The zone's name is a reference to the song 'Heartbreak Hotel' by singer Elvis Presley.
