Mer-kin teacher

Mer-kin teacher
Monster ID	838
Locations	Mer-kin Elementary School
Hit Points	700
Attack	600
Defense	700
Initiative	50
Meat	40-60
Phylum	mer-kin
Elements	None
Resistance	?
Monster Parts	arm, head, tail, torso
Drops	Mer-kin lipstick, Mer-kin bunwig, Mer-kin hallpass, Folder (catfish)
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Mer-kin teacher

This Mer-kin is in charge of training young acolytes in the cult of the Ancient Elder God of Hate. Not only is dark sarcasm encouraged in her classroom, it's actually a big part of the final exam.

Hit Message(s):

She says you can't have any pudding since you don't eat your meat, and then smacks you with a cane. Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! Ouch! Oof!

She pulls out a pretty hate machine and beats you with it. Aesthetics notwithstanding, it hurts. Ow! Ugh! Ooh! Ooh! Eek!

She hits you with her cane, sugar. Eek! Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Ugh!

She makes you recite a poem from memory, and thwacks your knuckles when you miss a line. Argh! Oof! Ouch! Argh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

She smacks you in the <neck> with her cane, then drags her fingernails down a nearby chalkboard. Ow, your <neck>! Ow, your ears! Ow! Ouch! Eek! Argh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

not known

Fumble Message:

She threatens to make you stay after class and clean the erasers. You point out that you're underwater. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: Mer-kin bunwig (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin lipstick (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mer-kin hallpass (?% chance)*

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Occurs at Mer-kin Elementary School.

Notes

• She is resistant to multi-round stunning.

References

• The description and combat messages contain references to Pink Floyd's song "Another Brick in the Wall".
• "Pretty Hate Machine" was the debut album of Trent Reznor's industrial rock act Nine Inch Nails.