Monster Manuel (V)

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There are 21 creatures filed under V.

Monster Manuel Entries

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		17		vampire bat Vampire bats are not actually related to regular bats at all! They are in fact a type of large predatory moth. If a vampire bat should suddenly headbutt you, don't take it the wrong way! It is merely a form of friendly greeting. Every day, a vampire bat will drink more than three times its weight in mammal blood, olive oil, and strawberry Yoo-hoo.
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		19		vampire clam No one's sure how, or why, a vampire bit a clam in the first place. This vampire turns into a clammier mist than most. The vampire clam can turn into a bat, but it's a bat with seashell wings, so it can't fly.
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		175		vampire duck When a vampire duck buys sunscreen at the drug store, he says "Put it on my bill. And also everywhere else. Seriously. I could die." Vampire ducks don't cast a reflection on the still ponds they swim in, which makes them really bad models for art students. The quickest way to a vampire duck's heart is to feed a vampire duck your own heart.
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		1000		Vanya's Creature All of the parts for Vanya's Creature were obtained from legal medical and scientific sources. Remember to read the fine print on your organ donor card! Vanya's Creature is an excellent tap-dancer, but he's terrible at ballet. Insiders say Vanya created the Creature, not to terrorize the world, but because he needed a fourth for his weekly Bridge game.
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		168		vegetable gremlin The vegetable gremlin LITERALLY has an EAR of CORN. Get it? Eating a vegetable gremlin's carrot arm will improve your eyesight, because it'll stop the gremlin from poking you in the eyes. The vegetable gremlin's throat is lined with corn on the cob, and his voice is a little husk-y.
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		168		vegetable gremlin Man, look at the abs on that gremlin! ...or wait, is that a cabbage? I'm confused. Vegetable gremlins are difficult to cultivate, because you have to water them regularly, and yet you should never get them wet. I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that the vegetable gremlin pictured has an ear of corn for an ear. It's not often that we get a chance for a visual pun like that.
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		?		velvet underground dweller JJ Cale was never a member of the Velvet Underground. That was someone else. John Cale didn't write 4'33". That was someone else. Hrvoje Čale is not a Croatian soccer player. That was... oh, wait, no. Yeah, that's him.
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		145		vendor slime Vendor slimes are a fairly common sort of slime, unless you get the rare purple variant with the error on the eyestalk. It's best to buy from vendor slimes toward the end of the Con, when they're desperate to make a deal. Vendor slimes would be nothing without wholesaler slimes, but you never hear anything about those guys.
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		21		vengeful turtle spectre When cornered, a spectral turtle will sometimes initiate something it calls "ghost protocol," which involves crawling 3-4% more quickly than usual. Some of the superstitious country folk of Loathing believe that scattering leaves of lettuce on their doorsteps will placate a ghost turtle, redirecting its fury onto their neighbors. Ghost turtles hate Kevin Costner. They are not alone in this.
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		99999		Vicious Easel Vicious easels are notorious art critics, and have been known to attack painters who cover a canvas with a single solid color and call it 'art'. Vicious easels don't actually know much about art, but they know what they hate. You. It is speculated that vicious easels were first created by an alchemist who was experimenting with a new formula for W-remover.
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		45		vicious gnauga Stains on gnauga hyde may be cleaned off with a combination of ammonia and bleach, if you want to get really high and possibly dead. To polish gnauga hyde, use a combination of salt and lime juice. Wait, sorry, that's to drink tequila. The gnauga has three rows of serrated teeth on the top and bottom of his mouth, and sometimes a few stray ones growing out of its spine.
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		70		Victor the Insult Comic Hellhound Nothing is sadder than being insulted by a rubber hand-puppet. You have to laugh, because otherwise you'd... well, roll your eyes, I guess. If you're in Hey Deez[sic], and get invited to a roast in your honor, don't go! It's not the sort where comedians make fun of you. Okay well, they might, but only by coincidence. Have you considered the idea that the hand-puppet might be the real hellhound, and the thing holding it is fake? That's totally not the case, but wouldn't it be weird?
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		?		Video Game Boss By definition, all video game bosses are self-employed. When interviewing for a new job, be sure to ask what your new boss's elemental weakness will be.
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		?		Video Game Miniboss Minibosses are the most important part of any evil villain's team. The regular skeleton and zombie mooks just can't be trusted to get your sandwich order right. (And Grod help you if you want a complicated coffee drink. Not all minibosses are intelligent, of course. Morgar the Blight Vizier had a miniboss that was merely a large and realisitically-painted stone statue of a cave troll, which he would drop on adventurers from a great height.)
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		?		Video Game Minion (moderate) While the most common mid-level video game minion is the ninja, many historians suspect that ninjas never actually existed! They believe they were invented for medieval Japanese video games, which were created for the entertainment of the Emperor. Another common mid-level minion species is the mushroom. When they die, mushroom people turn into question-mark blocks. The blocks can then be broken to release their mushroom-shaped souls, which grant magical powers when inhaled. Ah, the cycle of life. One of the most interesting video game minions is the bat. They reproduce by knocking adventurers into pits. Okay, well, not exactly 'reproduce', but it does give them orgasms.
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		?		Video Game Minion (strong) Monsters generally have a lot of free time on their hands while they sit in underground rooms waiting for adventurers to show up. Many of them take up a hobby, such as model-train building or crochet. Other popular ways monsters fill time include poker, contract bridge, and mah-jongg. It is generally accepted that, if playing for money and the game is interrupted by adventurers, the hand will be re-dealt (with the pot rolled over) after the fight. Here's a useful bit of related information: "Grakk mok farg ho plokk!" is Goblin for "Are you kidding me? I had four aces, you dick!"
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		?		Video Game Minion (weak) While there are many kinds of weak video game minions, the most commonly encountered are zombies. This is because when they're used up you can de-flesh them and get a free skeleton. It's like two minions for the price of one. If you walk to work, why not look for a jumping-puzzle along your route? If you try it every day, eventually you'll get really good at it, and onlookers will be super impressed. The little hearts and stars that pop out of a video game enemy when you kill it are actually that creature's guts rendered in low-resolution pixel art.
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		20		violent fungus The violent fungus seems like a jerk, but he's a fungi if you get to know him. (Sorry.) This particular fungus is actually a yeast, coincidentally the same variety used in Willer beer. Yeast are responsible for 99.9% of the world's smallest fart jokes.
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		53		Visible Music Music is generally invisible to humans, because it exists in the low-ultraviolet end of the spectrum. This is why blacklight posters are popular. Science has been working on a special projector that would allow you to see music in a normal state of mind, but so far they've only gotten it to work on terrifying higher-dimensional space blobs. Be careful what you listen to -- if you can see the music, the music can also see you.
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		?		Vivian Vibrian Vumian Varr Life is much better when time's spent relaxing -- don't wear yourself out with too much multi-tasking. People who type on their phones while they're driving have greatly reduced odds of even surviving. Remember that life's not a video game -- you just get one man, and there's no devs to blame.
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		0		voyeuristic artist On the whole, this fellow is regarded as an excellent painter, but some critics say his brushwork is a bit too loose. The voyeuristic artist invented a lot of new absinthe-based cocktails, which may explain his rather stunted growth. He also is rumored to have an exceedingly large, er, paintbrush, which may explain why the dancers put up with him creepily hanging out all the time.
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