Saved by the Bell
You feel kind of nervous as you head to your next class. If your teacher drops a test, you know you're in a mess. And what's worse, your dog ate all your homework last night! If you could just hand it in tomorrow, you'd be...
BRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNG!
Ah, sweet release! You're all done with school for the day. And what better way to celebrate than to spend some more time in school? Time to hit up the extra-curriculars.
| Go to Choir Club |
You walk into the choir class and take your seat. You practice some scales and arpeggios, sing "one black bug bled blue-black blood, the other black bug bled blue," and get your voice all warmed up to throw down some dulcet tones. The choir teacher motions with her little conducting wand for everyone to sing, and you start in on the Loathing High School Fight Song:
True to you we e'er shalt be
Loathing High School, hail to thee!
Hail to thee, oh hallowed halls
With graffiti on thy walls
You realize you don't know any of the other verses to the song, and there are an awful lot of verses. You mouth along as best you can, studiously confirming and denying things with sweeping gestures and expressive mouth movements. Fortunately, nobody calls you out for being a sentient ventriloquist dummy, and you can try again tomorrow.
 | You acquire an effect: School Spirited (duration: 10 Adventures) |
| Go to the Undead Poets Society |
You walk into the Undead Poets Society club room. As you look around, you think "Goth Beatnik Hipster Society" would be a more accurate name. The kids in here are all wearing black turtlenecks and berets, and they take turns reciting poetry while accompanying each other on conga drums.
The teacher running the club leaps up on a desk. "You, there! You have to tabula rasa!"
"I'll do my best," you respond.
"No, really!" he shouts, waving his bizarrely hairy arms in the air, "you have to love life and live love and love your liver! You have to express yourself through tiny context-free snippets of old poems!"
"Uh, okay..." you reply, and rack your brains to think of some inspirational poetry. You clear your throat and recite:
"This is just to say I have bogarted all the pizza rolls which you were probably saving for a party or something. Im sorry They're so gnarly and Im so high"
"That's awesome! You're the best teacher ever!" the students shout, and pick up their hairy instructor to carry him on a victory lap around the room. You join in and wear yourself out running and shouting, "O Captain my Captain," but you do feel smarter after the whole weird exercise.
 | You acquire an effect: Poetically Licensed (duration: 50 Adventures) |
| Go to the Yearbook Club |
You walk into the Yearbook Club. A kid with three cameras slung around his neck steps up to you as you enter the room, before you can even say you want to join. And before you can wonder whether or not you actually do want to join.
"Hey, good to see another warm body in here; we can use all the help we can get," he says. "If you wanna join the club, all you have to do is get a photo of a a[sic] Knob Goblin Barbecue Team for us."
"What does that have to do with yearbook pictures?" you ask.
"It's for the 'most likely to slay a fearsome beast' competition, okay?" the camera kid says. "Look, take this camera, keep it around your neck at all times, and when you find a Knob Goblin Barbecue Team, it'll take a picture automatically. Then check in with us tomorrow, all right?"
 | You acquire an item: Yearbook Club Camera |
| Go to the Gym |
You duck into the gym class. It's your basic sweat-sock-smelling gym, with a basketball hoop at either side, and various implements of torture--er, I mean exercise--just waiting to humiliate you.
Coach is already in there, wearing the creepy short shorts and too-tight shirt gym class teachers seem to be required to wear, putting the kids through the paces.
"All right, maggots! Let's see you give me twenty-eight somersaults!" he shouts. You reluctantly join in and give it your best, until your glutes are aching and you can barely stand.
"All right, botfly larvae! Hit the showers! I'll be watching to make sure you do it properly!" Coach shouts. You decide to opt out and stay sweaty but unskeeved.
 | You acquire an effect: Cut But Not Dried (duration: 50 Adventures) |
| Hang Out under the Bleachers |
You see little puffs of smoke coming from under the bleachers. Hey, maybe someone's making S'mores down there! That'd be awesome! You duck down behind the bleachers and see a group of kids (well, they must be kids since they're still in high school, but they look to be in their mid-thirties) in black leather jackets and blue jeans, passing around a tube full of burning leaves.
"Hey, you wanna smoke? Or make out a little with one of us?" one of the greasers says. "I'm Johnny Spumoni, that's Maria Sencilla, and that's Pat 'Taylor' Smith."
"Well, I don't think I'm 'cool' enough to smoke," you reply, but I'm down for makin' out with at least one of you."
You suck a little face with the cool kid you're most into, and even though that kid's mouth tastes like an ashtray, it's a pretty moxious experience.
 | You acquire an effect: Isskay like an Ashtray (duration: 50 Adventures) |
| Leave |
Occurs at KoL High School (all zones?)
Notes
- This adventure does not take a turn, and despite the description, can occur more than once. (Bug?)
References
- The first paragraph is a quote from the theme song of Saved by the Bell, which the adventure's title also references.
- The Undead Poets Society choice is a reference to Dead Poets Society.
