The Council of Loathing/Wildfire

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When playing the special challenge path of Wildfire, the text from the Council of Loathing discussed the current state of the kingdom:

• Initial text:

Welcome, Adventurer. You have arrived at a time of great need. There's a fire extinguisher next you to on the wall there, could you grab that and give my desk a little spritz? Here on the corner, where it's on fire. Good, thank you. That wasn't the great need I mentioned before, but I appreciate it. I don't know if you've noticed, but basically everything is on fire for some reason? We're not sure if it's a climate thing, or an unusually large-scale feat of arson, or... aliens? I dunno, did we forget to pay the no fire bill? God, I'm rambling -- it's so hot in here, I can't even think. Listen, go see if the Toot Oriole has a letter for you or anything, while I drink a bunch of water and put my head in the fridge for a minute. Assuming the Toot is still there, considering he lives in a little pile of dry twigs. No, leave the fire extinguisher here, I might need it.

• After visiting the Toot Oriole, but before reading King Ralph's Note:

Ah, you're back. And you have a letter from the Toot Oriole, that's nice. I was expecting a handful of ashes at best. He must have some amazing central air. Anyway, go ahead and read that while I stare directly into this electric fan for a second.

• After reading King Ralph's note:

We don't have anything you can help us with right now, Adventurer. You should go explore a little, get your bearings, put out some fires, and come back when you're a little stronger.

You could check out the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob, in the Nearby Plains. It's on fire.

Or maybe the Haunted Pantry is more your style -- you can find it inside Spookyraven Manor over on the Right Side of the Tracks. That's also on fire.

Another option is The Sleazy Back Alley, on the Wrong Side of the Tracks. That, as you've probably guessed, is also on fire. And I bet it smells disastrous.

• When no quests are available: