Big Candy
| Big Candy | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1148 |
| Locations | Advent Calendar (2011) Day 20: Fight Big Candy |
| Hit Points | 1000 |
| Attack | 400 |
| Defense | 400 |
| Initiative | 50 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | Indeterminate |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | Indeterminate |
| Drops | Big Candy's tophat |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Big CandyYou hop into the diorama, carefully angling your fall so you land on the sail barge. Big Candy reclines on a dais (on a dais on a dais) at one end, sipping cocoa out of a fishbowl, while a girl with two big licorice whips growing out of her head dances.
You wave your hand towards Big Candy. "You will restore candy deliveries to Uncle Crimbo," you say.
"Hurr hurr hurr," Big Candy chuckles, polishing his peppermint monocle, "nice try, meat-man. But Uncle Crimbo is cut off. That deadbeat has not once made a payment on-time! And every time I send someone to collect, they eat him! Seriously, that's just impolite." Big Candy pauses and licks his lips, which is roundly unsettling to watch. "But I suppose I could negotiate a new trade agreement with him, if you're amenable."
So it looks like you can either sit down and talk about tariffs and embargoes, or get in a big fight. I'm not even going to pretend you're going to choose the first option.
Hit Message(s):
One of Big Candy's bounty hunters shoots a sugar laser at your <bung>. What's a sugar laser, anyway? Ooh! Argh! Eek! Ow! Oof! Oof! Oof! Ow! Eek! Argh!
Big Candy's vizier sneaks behind you and stabs you with a sharpened candy cane. Never trust those guys. Eek! Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Argh! Ouch! Oof! Eek! Ooh! Oof!
He drops you through a trapdoor into the basement of the sail barge, which has a huge ugly monster in it. It chews on your ankle something fierce, before you drop a big metal door on it.
He moistens his fudgy lips with his big gross tongue. Ick.
The band playing on the barge finishes their set and is replaced by a computer-generated, much crappier band.
One of Big Candy's bounty hunters rushes at you, but trips and falls off the edge of the barge.
You wave your hand at the bounty hunter approaching and say, "you don't want to hit me. You want to go screw yourself." It's a good thing you can't see what he does next.
One of his licorice-whip-haired slave girls grabs a length of taffy and starts strangling him. It doesn't seem to hurt, but he has to stop fighting to deal with it.
not known
 | You acquire an item: Big Candy's tophat (100% chance)* |
Occurs at Fight Big Candy.
