Topiary golem

He kicks you with one of his leafy, thorny feet. You scream in pain with your leafy, thorny throat. Ouch! Eek!

He smacks you in the <thigh> with one exquisitely manicured fist. You appreciate the aesthetics while you bleed. Ooh! Ugh!

He starts to attack, but is distracted by the pale guy with a bunch of scissors for hands who is giving him a manicure.

He tries to smack you with a fist, but notices an ingrown berry and stops to pick it out.

You acquire 62.7% chance hedge maze puzzles

You gain 36 <substat>.

Detective Skull: 148 Hit Points

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Occurs at The Hedge Maze

References

• The "pale guy with a bunch of scissors for hands" is Edward Scissorhands, from Tim Burton's 1990 movie of the same name.
• The golems are from the old text adventure Zork game - if you lingered too long in one of the courtyards, the hedges would come alive and kill you.