Typical Tavern Quest
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Description
We've received word that the owner of The Typical Tavern, in The Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him. You will not receive this quest unless you have completed the Spooky Forest Quest.
Tasks
In the new quest you enter the Typical Tavern and enter into an area just like The Barrel full of Barrels and have to hit the "rat faucet" adventure. Turn the faucet off to complete the quest.
Before turning off the faucet, you can continue to adventure to encounter Baron Von Ratsworth. Defeating him will grant you a rather nifty item (there are three different items he can drop, depending on the current setting, if any, of The Super-Secret Canadian Mind-Control Device, detuned radio, or The Annoy-o-Tron 5000). He can be quite difficult to defeat, as his stats scale to yours.
Besides the Baron, the only enemies in the cellar are rats, who can be troublesome because of their ability to dodge. Known item drops are rat whisker and rat appendix.
At least one square of the tavern will always produce a non-combat adventure in which your player gains an ice-cold beer, a fotie, or, more rarely, liquor or a mixed drink (e.g horizontal tango).
The necessary faucet adventure and the Baron Von Ratsworth are both randomized per person, but don't change during that ascension run. For example, if you found the Faucet in square 3, you can leave it alone until you find and defeat the Baron and it will still be in square 3.
Reward
Council Text
On initial visit: We've received word that the owner of The Typical Tavern, in The Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him.
On subsequent visits:
The owner of the Typical Tavern is still bugging us about his rat problems. Perhaps you could help him?
Bartender Text
On initial visit:
"Howdy, Adventurer!" says the jovial man behind the bar. "I'm Bart. Bart Ender."
"Nice to meet ya, Bart. I'm <Player Name>," you say. "The Council says you need some help with something."
"Yup. We've got a bit of a rat problem, y'see. Whole cellar's just thick with 'em. I mean, sure, there are always rats down there -- rats are a crucial part of the fantasy tavern ecosystem. Our problem is that there are too many rats. I need you to figure out why there are so many of 'em, and put a stop to it somehow." he replies.
"So there are... rats... in the cellar... of the tavern," you sigh, "and I have to kill, what, like, ten of them?"
"This isn't a simple matter of 'kill ten rats,' buddy. You need to track 'em back to their source and put a stop to it, whatever it is. Here, lemme unlock the trap door for you. Careful. It's dark down there."
On subsequent visits:
"Hey, if it isn't ol' <Player Name>. Had any luck finding the source of those rats? We're all counting on you!
"If you get thirsty, feel free to order a drink."
After turning off the rat faucet:
"Rat faucet got left on, eh? That was probably Luanne. She was always doin' ditzy stuff like that. Right unfriendly to the customers, too. That's why I fired her and divorced her.
"Anyhow, thanks for your help, <Player Name>. Here -- by way of thanks, have a few drinks on the house!"
 | You acquire 3 flagons of Typical Tavern swill |
Notes
- On March 24, 2009, the rewards of this quest were altered, the previous quest page may be seen here.
- On October 16, 2005, this quest was significantly changed. The original quest details may be found here.
References
- Pausing to admire the phrase "cellar door" refers to a claim, made by linguist and fantasy author J. R. R. Tolkien, that most English-speaking people would find the phrase "cellar door" itself, disassociated from its sense and its spelling, to be beautiful. This claim was probably most widely popularized by the movie Donnie Darko, where Donnie's literature teacher relates it as "A famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words, that 'cellar door' was the most beautiful."
- The rat faucet is a possible reference to the Frank Zappa album Waka Jawaka, whose cover shows two faucets, labeled "hot" and "rats."
- The quest as a whole is a reference to how, in many role playing games, one of the first quests is to kill a number of rats.
- "Rats in the Cellar" Is a popular Aerosmith song.
- "I Think I Smell A Rat" is also a song sung by The White Stripes, and is featured in their album "White Blood Cells".
