Cargo crab

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Revision as of 13:28, 6 December 2008 by imported>Fig bucket (msg)
cargo crab You're fighting a cargo crab

This is a large hermit crab that has taken up residence in an old crate of imitation crab meat. You pause to wonder if crabs are capable of understanding irony, or if they're more like Alanis Morissette.

Hit Message(s):

It bangs its crate into you, and you get a nasty splinter. Ow! Ooh! Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Ugh! Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! Ouch!

It clamps a claw on your <shins>. Ow, thad's paidful! Ooh! Oof! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Argh! Ow!

It pinches you in the <shins>. Well, at least now you know you're not dreaming. Ow! Ooh! Argh! Argh! Ouch! Eek! Ow! Oof! Ooh! Ugh!

It stomps on your foot with its spiny little leg. Argh! Oof! Ooh! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Argh! Argh! Ooh! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

It pinches both of your legs while hitting you in the head with its crate. Argh! Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Eek! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to pinch you, but can't. Does that mean you're dreaming?

It tries to stomp on your feet, but can't accomplish the feat.

It tries to bang its crate into you, but you hide in a barrel.

It tries to clamp a claw on you, but you frighten it off with a ramekin of drawn butter.

Fumble Message:

It tries to ram you with its crate, but you stay in front of it. Since it can only walk sideways, you're completely safe. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat
You gain some Meat
You acquire an item: imitation crab crate (? chance)*
You gain 113 <substat>.

Occurs at The Wreck of the Edgar Fitzsimmons.

References

  • The description is a reference to Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic", which, ironically, doesn't contain any real irony.
  • One of the miss messages is a reference to the chain store Crate & Barrel.