Coal paperweight

coal paperweight

This is a paperweight made out of a lump of coal hewn from the mines ruled by the ruthless Gnat King. It's very good at what it does -- which, considering what it does is be heavy and useless, isn't that impressive.

I mean, your mom's a champ at that.

Type: usable
Cannot be traded or discarded

(In-game plural: coal paperweights)

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Item number: 4905
Description ID: 603768984
View in-game: view

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Obtained From

Uncle Crimbo (2010)

When Used

First time each day:

You stare at the paperweight, contemplating CRIMBCO's brief dominion over Crimbo. It makes you remember how blandly appealing their cookies were.

You acquire an effect: Mystic Circle (duration: 10 Adventures)

or

You stare at the paperweight, contemplating CRIMBCO's brief dominion over Crimbo. It makes you remember how blandly appealing their cookies were.

You acquire an effect: Square to be Hip (duration: 10 Adventures)

or

You stare at the paperweight, contemplating CRIMBCO's brief dominion over Crimbo. It makes you remember how blandly appealing their cookies were.

You acquire an effect: Triangle, Man (duration: 10 Adventures)

Subsequent times: You're actually too bored to stare at a paperweight. You should go play outside.

References

• The coal of the Gnat King is a reference to jazz musician Nat King Cole.
• Triangle Man is in reference to the song "Particle Man" by They Might Be Giants