A Turn of the Coat
As you wander through the battlefield, you come upon a wooden stand with a big sign proclaming "Cloaca-Cola: Have a Cloaca and a Smile!" As you draw closer, a nervous-looking man behind the counter quickly turns the sign around. It now reads "Be Reincarnated with the Dyspepsi Generation."
"Dyspepsi: it brings your ancestors back from the dead, citizen," he greets you.
"Oh, I'm not a Dyspepsi soldier."
"Oh, oh my goodness! Of course not! I was just -- undercover. Yes." The man flips the sign back around. "Bite the wax tadpole, comrade."
"Er, I'm not a Cloaca soldier either," you say. "So what, you're selling cola to both sides?"
"Business is business, friend," he says. "Although not much business, at these prices. It's practically cutting my own head off!"
You turn away disgusted, tossing a fireball over your shoulder. If there's one thing you can't stand, it's people who aren't firm in their convictions. At least, you're pretty sure you can't stand that. Whatever.
| You gain ((2*mainstat) + 0-9) of Mysticality) in , capped at 50. |
Occurs at The Cola Wars Battlefield.
References
- "Bring your ancestors back from the dead" was (according to urban legend) the supposed result of an inaccurate Chinese translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive! You're in the Pepsi Generation".
- "Bite the wax tadpole" was reportedly the result of early Chinese shopkeepers attempting to represent the sounds for "Co-ca Co-la" phonetically without regard to their actual meaning.
- The text references the 1979 Coke slogan "Have a Coke and Smile."
- The title is a play on the word "turncoat", meaning traitor.
- "It's practically cutting my own head off!" refers to an recurring character in Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, so called because he claims to offer such great bargains, "I'm practically cutting me own throat."
