And to All a Good Night
As you walk toward the crate, you find your way once again blocked by Cappuccino Decaffa. You brace yourself for yet another round of tedious exposition. Decaffa cocks his head and looks at you, tapping his foot impatiently. He's holding a cell phone in one flipper, and looks eager to get back to the conversation you've interrupted.
"Look," he says, "I won't say that it isn't good to see you, because I can't imagine you wouldn't be insulted by that. And it certainly would not be accurate to say that Don Crimbo, monarch of Crimbo, is not grateful for the assistance you provided this holiday season. In fact, I wouldn't venture to say that it isn't not untrue that --"
"Easy with the double negatives," you interrupt. "You'd need a Saint Bernard and a flask of whiskey to get out of your last sentence alive. I just came to help take down the Crimbomination. After careful cryptographic analysis of the Spirit of Crimbo text, I believe the only way to defeat it is with a combination of loose teeth and really, really sticky spider webs. I mean, it couldn't be as easy as just reciting the Spirit of Crimbo at it, right? Anyway, where'd the Crimbomination go?"
Decaffa puts his cell phone down and picks up his lead pipe. "You adventurers defeated it. It turned back into a regular elf and went back to the elven barracks with the other elves."
"But it was huge -- it had to be more than just one elf! And hey, what's in that giant crate behind you?"
Decaffa steps forward, tapping your knee lightly with his lead pipe. "That is not of concern to you. As I was trying to say, Don Crimbo is extremely grateful for your help, and congratulates you on defeating the menace known as the Crimbomination. It is now time for Crimbo Town to fade back into the mists, so we can prepare next Crimbo, which we assure you will be a wondrous celebration of merriment and joy. Further curiosity on your part about the creature you defeated would be . . . unwise."
"But -- but --" you stammer. "The time I wasted -- the magic I spent on this -- it can't end like this! It just can't!"
If you spent at least one turn reciting The Spirit of Crimbo against The Crimbomination:
"Fine." Decaffa says, and makes a quick call on his cell phone. Two penguin thugs waddle up carrying a big, dusty crate from the old Crimbo Toy Factory. "Reach in there and grab, let's say, approximately X items. Surely that will be sufficient to express our gratitude, and to entice you to vacate the premises so we may retire to the mists and work on next Crimbo."
| Reach into the crate |
You reach into the crate and pull out some goodies at random:
 | You acquire... something. |
If you did not spend any turns reciting The Spirit of Crimbo against The Crimbomination:
"Hold on a minute," Decaffa says, eyeing you suspiciously. He picks up his cell phone and makes a call. You hear him mutter your name into the phone, then he nods his head and snaps the phone shut. "I thought so. In your haste to take credit for other peoples' efforts, you forgot that the Don is now the monarch of Crimbo, and as such has access to the records of all adventurers' deeds and misdeeds, so that he may fill out his 'naughty' and 'nice' lists. Don Crimbo informs me that not only did you not spend any time or any magic fighting the Crimbomination, but that he is most displeased with you wasting his time in this fashion. I would suggest you vacate the premises before you suffer an unfortunate accident."
| Take your leave |
You head back the way you came, feeling lucky to be allowed to do so with your kneecaps unshattered.
Occurs at A Mysterious Crate.
Notes
- The value of X depends upon the adventurer, presumably based on the number of bits of The Crimbomination they expurgated.
- Reaching into the crate causes you to receive a random assortment of roughly X gifts that can be obtained from dusty Crimbo crates and sturdy Crimbo crates.
- The items acquired are the craftable gifts from the previous Crimbos.
- Does not use an adventure.
