Cursed villager
| Cursed villager | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 2064 |
| Locations | Cursed Village |
| Hit Points | 30 |
| Attack | 130 |
| Defense | 130 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | Rubee™ |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a cursed villager"Eee-hee-hee! You've wandered into a cursed village, my dearie!" A haggard old crone -- although you can't tell quite how much of the haggardness-slash-croneliness is latex -- points a crooked finger at you from the edge of the path. "And now cursed will you be! Eee-hee-hee-hee!"
"I don't care much for your tone, old lady," you say. "Nor your grammar."
You start to move toward her, but can't move your feet! You look down and see a guy dressed in black jeans and a black turtleneck locking your feet to the ground with some kind of clamp. "Hey!" you say. "What the heck are you doing?"
"You're cursed!" the old woman crows. "And don't talk to the stagehand!"
or
"Eee-hee-hee! Welcome back, dearie!" the old woman cackles from the trees.
"Oh great. You again. And you again," you growl at the stagehand, who has already locked your feet to the ground. He shrugs at you. "I hate being cursed," you grumble.
"Most people do! Eee-hee-hee!"
or
"So! You still dare to tread the grounds of this cursed village!" the withered crone shrieks at you, setting her thermos behind a plaster tree stump. "My horrible magics will teach you a lesson!"
You feel a tap on your shoulder -- it's the stagehand. "Psst. Can you take like two steps to your left?" he whispers.
"Huh? Oh, sure."
"Thanks," he says, as he locks your feet into the clamps.
or
"Eee-hee-hee!" cackles the crone as you approach. "You're trapped! Trapped in the--"
"Cursed village, yeah," you say. "What's the story here, anyway? Why's the village so cursed?"
"Because of, ah... because of people asking too many questions!" she says.
Meanwhile there's a quiet muttering going on down near your feet. "What's wrong?" you ask the stagehand.
"I can't get this latch to go," he says. "There's like mud in the clasp or something."
You bend over and help him get the clamps locked properly.
or
"Hey, guys," you say, waving at the old crone and her stagehand, who are sitting on stumps chatting. "It's cool, I've got it," you add, locking yourself into the clamps as the stagehand starts to get up.
Hit Message(s):
"I curse you with fire from the bowels of hell!" the old woman cackles, as the stagehand lights your pants on fire with a cigarette lighter. Oof! Ouch! Argh! (hot damage)
"My magic will freeze the blood in your veins and the marrow in your bones!" the crone howls, as the stagehand pours a cup of ice down the back of your neck. Brrrrrrrrrrr. (cold damage)
"A curse!" the old crone yells. "A curse on your <lower back>!" And then the stagehand whacks you in the <lower back> with a wrench. Eek! Ouch! Argh!
"Eee-hee-hee!" the crone cackles. "Evil spirits will... er... punch you in the back of the head!"
"What?" you say, then "Ow!" as the stagehand rabbit-punches you. (CRITICAL HIT!) Eek! Ouch! Oof!
"I curse you with spiders!" yells the crone. The stagehand throws some rubber spiders at your face.
"I curse you with plague and disease! Festering boils!" yells the witch. The stagehand gives her a puzzled look and kind of shrugs at you.
"I'll curse your-- cough, cough!" the crone screeches, and pulls some throat spray out of her shawl. "God, all this shrieking is killing my pipes," she says in a normal tone of voice.
The old lady stops cackling for a second so the stagehand can refresh the spirit gum holding on her fake nose. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: Rubee™ (% chance)* |
Occurs at Cursed Village.
Notes
- Blocks normal attacks and skills:
- You move to attack her, but you're locked in place. She cackles gleefully.
- You try to use that skill against her, but you can't get close enough. She cackles gleefully.
- The following sources of damage have so far been confirmed to work against this monster
- This monster cannot be wished for.
