Dark Noël
| Dark Noël | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 2294 |
| Locations | The Sorceress' Chamber |
| Hit Points | 200 |
| Attack | 150 |
| Defense | 150 |
| Initiative | 100 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | horror |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | |
| Monster Parts | arm, hat, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | None |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Dark NoëlIn the chambers of the Naughty Sorceress, you encounter a woman in a red dress trimmed with white fur, and a conical Crimbo-style hat. She appears to be hanging tinsel around the room -- she gracefully steps down from her stepladder to greet you as you enter, and I swear I tried really hard not to use 'step' twice in that sentence but I just couldn't make it work.
"Uh, hi," you say. "Are you the Naughty Sorceress?"
"Well dearie, I do try to stay off the Naughty list, but I can't say I'm always successful." There's a merry twinkle in her voice as she laughs. "But no, my name is Dark Noël, and I'm taking over as host of this festive little party."
"Wow, you defeated her? I'd gathered that she was pretty hardcore."
"Defeated? Oh no, N.S. was very gracious about the whole situation, seeing as we're both members of the Sinister Sisterhood. And she so rarely gets a proper holiday, the poor dear.
"Anyway," she continues, "the amount of residual Crimbo magic on this weird little island is truly spectacular, and once I've drained it all I'll be returning to Ocean City to reclaim what's rightfully mine!"
"Ohh," you say. "So you're the one the customs agent was talking about, way back at the beginning of this whole deal. I'd nearly or perhaps entirely forgotten about that. What happened, did your nefarious plans get foiled by a meddlesome protagonist and you were forced to flee for your life?"
"N-no! Maybe! Shut up!"
Hit Message(s):
Dark Noël summons six geese a-laying. What are they laying? Hand grenades. Oof! Ooh! Ow!
Dark Noël summons five golden rings, in a brass knuckles configuration. Argh! Ouch! Ooh!
Dark Noël summons nine ladies dancing, and punches you in the neck while you're distracted. Oof! Ugh! Oof!
Dark Noël summons a partridge in a pear tree, and bludgeons you with the pear tree while the partridge pecks at your eyes. Argh! Ow! Ouch!
Dark Noël summons thirteen semi-automatic rifles.
Dark Noël summons three French hens, which wander off in search of bread.
Dark Noël summons eight maids a-milking. Everyone stands around looking confused for a minute.
Dark Noël summons a pair of turtle doves, but they fly too slowly to hit you.
Dark Noël summons eleven pipers piping. After they finish their piping, they leave. (FUMBLE!)
Occurs at The Sorceress' Chamber in an Avatar of Shadows Over Loathing run, as a Cheese Wizard.
References
- Dark Noël is one of the three nemeses in Asymmetric's Shadows Over Loathing.
- The player calling Noël out for running away due to her plans getting foiled once before is a reference to the player in Shadows Over Loathing choosing to spare Noël and suggest she leaves the country.
