dead mimic (10-15) when an aluminum wand, ebony wand, hexagonal wand, marble wand, or pine wand is present in inventory or when the wand was blown up less than 3 days ago.
When Used
Each of these potions give one of nine possible results. No two potions give the same effects, and each player will get a different series of effects. The possible effects are:
When used in combat, all potions gave the following message:
Just kidding. These won't actually be combat-usable until NS13 rolls out.
Notes
Each potion's effect is randomly reassigned at the beginning of each new ascension. Prior to NS13, potion effect assignment was only partially random, allowing effects to be predicted without having to use one of each potion.
These are often called "bang potions" because "bang" is a common programmer term for the exclamation mark (!).
In combat:
Teleportitis increases your opponent's defense by 15-20 points. It does not affect Monster Attack.
Strange Mental Acuity increases your opponent's attack and defense by 10-15 points.
Izchak's Blessing potion increases your opponent's defense by 20-30 points. It does not affect Monster Attack.
Strength of Ten Ettins increase your opponent's attack by 20-30 points. It does not affect Monster Defense.
Healing increases your opponent's health by 14-16 points, but not above its starting HP.
Sleep decreases your opponent's defense by 2-3 points. It does not affect Monster Attack.
It is unclear if Object Detection has any effect, and if so, what.
If in a Gelatinous Noob or Actually Ed the Undying run, your maximum Drunkenness is -1, and as such, would naturally only be able to reach a value of 0. However, use of the booze potion will cause you to exceed this limit, and will (as under no other circumstances) reveal your Drunkenness meter.
References
These potions refer to the computer game NetHack. In NetHack and other roguelike games, you acquire various potions whose appearances change each time you start a new game. Most such games represent potions with the '!' character because it notionally resembles a potion bottle (albeit an upside-down one).
The drunkenness granting effect (and message that follows) is a reference to the "potion of booze" from NetHack, which makes you confused for a few turns, giving the message "Ooph! This tastes like liquid fire!"
NetHack players often wish to identify potions before drinking them, as some have harmful effects. One way to do so is to throw the potion at a monster and observe the effects.