Fiendish zombie can of asparagus

Fiendish zombie can of asparagus
Monster ID	297
Locations	Market Square, 28 Days Later
Hit Points	1
Attack	2
Defense	0
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	undead
Elements	spooky
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
Drops	asparagus knife, razor-sharp can lid, stalk of asparagus, zombie pineal gland
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a fiendish zombie can of asparagus

This just doesn't make any sense. I mean, a zombie is a reanimated corpse of a living thing. How could a metal can possibly be a zombie?

These questions somehow seem irrelevant when you're facing a rusty can full of rotting asparagus wielding a knife. Er, the can's got the knife, that is. The asparagus doesn't.

Hit Message(s):

It staggers forward and bumps repeatedly into your shins. Not the most effective attack ever, but it hurts. Ugh!

It slashes the top of your skull open with its asparagus knife. You suddenly find yourself thinking about strange-smelling pee. Ow!

It tries to gnaw on your brrraaains, but it doesn't have any teeth. It does put a decent dent in your skull with the edge of its can, though. Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

It lurches toward you, but you back up and leave it in the lurch.

It tries to gnaw on your brains, but doesn't have any teeth with which to crack your skull.

It slashes at your skull, trying to expose your tasty brrraaaains, but you're too thickheaded.

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After Combat

You gain some Meat

You acquire an item: asparagus knife (? chance)*

You acquire an item: razor-sharp can lid (? chance)*

You acquire an item: stalk of asparagus (? chance)*

You acquire an item: zombie pineal gland (? chance)*

You gain 1 <substat>.

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Occurred at Market Square, 28 Days Later.