Fratacombs (Filthy Hippy Disguise)
You sneak through the frat house and find a door that leads down a flight of stairs into the catacombs beneath the frat house. Well, okay, "catacombs" is probably too grand a word for a basement with a lot of twisty little hallways. You don't see a map anywhere, since you haven't found the compass yet for this dungeon, so you'll just have to wander aimlessly.
| Wander this way |
You walk along the darkened corridors and find a door with a sign that says "War Room" on it. Unfortunately, it's blocked by three full kegs of beer. You decide that moving, rather than emptying, the kegs is the best way to proceed, since you want to keep your wits about you. You heave one keg out of the way, then ho the other two off to the side.
You open the door and see nothing but a small closet with some cleaning supplies in it. You read the door more closely, and see the remnants of painted letters that have been faded by time: apparently, this is actually "Ward's Broom Closet." I guess the frat boys' janitor is named "Ward."
Oh, well. At least you got a good workout!
| You gain 50 Muscleboundness. |
| Wander that way |
You walk down a dark hallway, through a series of twisty little passages, get tired of wandering around, and open a door at random. Ah, you've found the supply closet where the frat boys store their war rations! You rationalize that rationing a bit of their rations wouldn't hurt anyone, so you grab a portion of their rations and beat feet. You better hope the hippies don't catch you with this stuff, man -- it's definitely neither organic nor cruelty-free.
 | You acquire an item: brain-meltingly-hot chicken wings |
 | You acquire an item: frat brats |
 | You acquire an item: melted Jell-o shot |
 | You acquire an item: can of Swiller |
 | You acquire an item: knob ka-bobs |
| Wander the other way |
You take six or seven turns through the corridors under the frat house, eventually stumbling into the Intensive Care Unit for the frat boys who have been wounded in the war. You wonder briefly why such an important place is so hard to get to, then remind yourself that it's just a game; you should really just relax. Anyway, you see a frat boy lying in a hospital bed hooked to a V (which is like an IV, only one bigger), with bandages all over his body.
"Nurse?" he says. "Nurse, do you know what happened to the flowers the Sorority Orcs brought me? I thought they were here, but they're all gone. The young girls, every one of them, said they'd bring them over.. When will they ever learn to put them close to my bed?"
You're overwhelmed by guilt and rush out of the frat house. You feel like going to the graveyard and putting flowers on the graves of all the dead soldiers. Or going to the battlefield and putting flowers in all the guns. Something involving flowers and non-violent protest, anyway.
Occurs at the Orcish Frat House (Verge of War).
Notes
- If you choose "Wander that way", you will acquire two items from the above list. The same item can be chosen twice.
- If you're wearing the War Hippy Fatigues, you will encounter Fratacombs (War Hippy Fatigues) instead.
- Choosing "Wander the other way" does consume an adventure, even though you acquire no items, effects, or stats.
References
- "Twisty passages" refers to the classic game Adventure.
- The last sentence of the initial description refers to The Legend of Zelda, in which a compass and Dungeon Map are used in Dungeons to find your way around.
- The text in the "long time passing" option refers to the song "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" by Pete Seeger and Joe Hickerson: "Where have all the flowers gone? / Long time passing. / Where have all the flowers gone? / Long time ago. / Where have all the flowers gone? / The girls have picked them ev'ry one. / Oh, when will you ever learn? Oh, when will you ever learn?"
- "...remind yourself that it's just a game; you should really just relax." is a reference to the theme song of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ("just repeat to yourself it's just a show; I should really just relax").
|
Orcish Frat House (Verge of War) Choice Adventures | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Catching Some Zetas | Fratacombs | One Less Room Than In That Movie | ||||||
| Take the bombs and wreak some havoc | gain 50 Beefiness | Wander this way | gain 50 Beefiness | Supply Room | gain 50 Cheek | |||
| Keep the bombs to use later | 6-7 sake bombers | Wander (that way/the other way) | hot chicken wings, frat brats, knob ka-bobs, can of Swiller, melted Jell-o shot | Munitions Dump | 2-5 beer bombs | |||
| Wake up the pledge and throw down | fight a War Pledge | Screw this, head to the roof | start the war | Officer's Lounge | fight a Frat Warrior drill sergeant | |||
