Gorgonzola, the Chief Chef/Old

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First task

Gorgonzola, the leader of the League of Chef-Magi, nods to you as you approach him. "In order to join the League, <name>, you must first complete a task I have designed to test your aptitude in the ways of Mysticalness."
He points to a nearby table, which is covered in sandwich fixins.
"Make me a sandwich, using only the power of your mind..."
Make the Sandwich (1)
  • Failing the test:
You concentrate on the fixins, but only succeed in making a mess.
Gorgonzola looks at you sadly.
  • Completing the test:
You concentrate on the fixins. They rise into the air and coalesce into a perfectly formed sandwich.
"Delicious," says Gorgonzola. "You are now an Initiate of the League of Chef-Magi.
He hands you a few items, adding "These may come in handy. If you need more, you can acquire more of them at the Barrel Full of Barrels, in the Big Mountains. I'll mark it on your map.
Pastamancer Sauceror
You acquire 2 concentrated magicalness pills
You acquire 2 concentrated magicalness pills
You acquire an item: enchanted barbell
You acquire an item: giant moxie weed
You acquire N horizontal tangos
You acquire N rolls in the hay
N is 3 on one's first ascension run, 2 on the second, 1 on the third, and 0 on all subsequent runs.

Second task

  • The second task is to guess a number. 7 Mysticality is the bare minimum to succeed; Failures have been observed as high as 13 Mysticality. Higher Mysticality is much more likely to pass.
  • Reward: The Bitchin' Meatcar Quest.
  • Before attempting the test:
Gorgonzola smiles benevolently at you as you approach. "Are you ready for your second task, Initiate? Here it is: I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100. If you can tell me what number it is, I will give you permission to use the League's meatcar.
Guess the Number (1)
  • Failing the test:
You send out psychic feelers into Gorgonzola's brain.
"42?" you ask.
"Wrong."
  • Completing the test:
You send out psychic feelers into Gorgonzola's brain. The answer comes to you almost immediately.
"11," you say.
Gorgonzola smiles broadly. "Well done. You may now use the guild meatcar. Blaine will tell you where he parked it."

Third task

  • The third task is to defeat the Chief Chef at Wizard's Hangman. 12 Mysticality is the bare minimum to succeed; Failures have been observed as high as 17 Mysticality. Higher Mysticality is much more likely to pass.
  • Before attempting the test:
"Only one task remains, Initiate. To become a full member of the League of Chef-Magi, you must defeat me at the game we Magical types like best -- Wizard's Hangman."
Draw the Gallows (1)
  • Failing the test:
You play several rounds of Wizard's Hangman against Gorgonzola, and he trounces you soundly.
"Come back when your Magicalness (and your vocabulary) is more developed."
  • Completing the test:
After several games of Wizard's Hangman, you emerge victorious.
Gorgonzola bows to you. "Congratulations, <name>."

Fourth task

  • The fourth task is to pull 10 meat out of the Chief Chef's ear. 17 Mysticality is the bare minimum to succeed; Failures have been observed as high as 24 Mysticality. Higher Mysticality is much more likely to pass.
  • Reward: Access to Gouda's Grimoire and Grocery.
  • Before attempting the test:
Gorgonzola nods at you. "Well met, fellow Chef. To gain entrance to our guild's grocery store, you must again prove your worth. Your challenge is thus: Pull 10 Meat out of my ear."
Pull the Meat (1)
  • Failing the test:
You try to conjure the requested Meat, but lose your concentration. A pile of ears falls to the ground beneath Gorgonzola's meat.
He grimaces disapprovingly.
  • Completing the test:
You deftly conjure 10 Meat and pull it from behind Gorgonzola's ear.
"Nicely executed," he says. "Now you may shop at our store."

On subsequent visits

You have already passed all of the challenges of your Guild.

References

  • The fail text for the second task references Douglas Adams's book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything (everything logically encompassing the answer to this task).
  • Wizard's Hangman may be a reference to Harry Potter's Wizard Chess, a popular game played by Wizards.