Groll doll
From A KoL Wiki
Groll doll
Ha ha, remember when these things were popular? We were so stupid back then.
Type: accessory
Selling Price: 5 Meat.Is The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best The Best
(In-game plural: Groll dolls)
Obtained From
- Skills
- Summon Confiscated Things
Messages
- During combat, every round::
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| Your Groll doll glares ominously at your foe. "Are you looking to the sky to save you?" he asks. "Because it won't."
Your opponent shudders, creeped out for 3-5 damage. |
or
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| Your Groll doll screams "I'm a one-way motorway! I'm a one way motorway!" while emptying a tiny can of gasoline all over your opponent. The match he lights gleams in his wide, crazy eyes as your opponent burns. For 3-5 damage. |
or
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| Your Groll doll looks at your foe and says "Do you want this monkey wrench? I don't want this monkey wrench, because... well, you'll see." He tosses a filth-crusted monkey wrench at him, dealing 3-5 damage. |
or
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| Your Groll doll says "It's real, the pain you feel." as he grins madly and stomps on your foe's foot, dealing 3-5 damage. |
or
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Your Groll doll squints with menace and says "I promise not to stop when you say when," and proceeds to give your opponent a fierce noogie. True to his word, he does not stop when he says when.
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or
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Your Groll doll, his eyes unnaturally wide, says "There goes my hero!" You beam as you realize that he's talking about you! You're his hero! Hooray!
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Notes
- If an enemy blocks the usage of skills, such as a Cursed villager or presumably Bonerdagon or Naughty Sorceress, then on turns in which they block a skill the Groll doll cannot activate. This can be bypassed by using a normal attack instead of a skill, allowing the Groll doll to activate.
References
- The item's name and image are references to Dave Grohl, lead singer, vocalist, main songwriter and founder of the Foo Fighters.
- The text is replete with nods to the lyrics of Foo Fighters' songs:
- "Learn to Fly" (Are you looking to the sky to save you?)
- "Times Like These" (I'm a one-way motorway)
- "Monkey Wrench" (Do you want this monkey wrench?)
- "Best of You" (It's real, the pain you feel)
- "Everlong" (I promise not to stop when you say when)
- "My Hero" (There goes my hero!)
- Troll dolls have been popular at various times since their invention in 1959, possibly when you were an adolescent.
- The enchantment is a reference to an old meme in which the lines "THE BEST" from the Foo Fighters song Best of You are repeated dozens or hundreds of times in a single post, image or mashup. The most recent major occurrence of it was the song "Best" on Neil Cicierega's 2014 mashup album Mouth Silence. The lyrics repeatedly say "the best" at various times, up to 8 times in a row.
Collection
- 🥇: Mistress Darkmoon (#1836774) - 30,356
- 🥈: adwriter (#119474) - 12,345
- 🥉: No Touchy (#1003858) - 6,406
- #4: Darth Twinkie (#2002588) - 3,214
- #5: RealBigMeanie (#908920) - 1,822
- #6: Mistress of the Obvious (#845708) - 839
- #7: Pastahead (#486552) - 800
- #8: Ayumbhara (#1442405) - 584
- #9: ThunderGate (#294980) - 539
- #10: dune rune (#2896385) - 506
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