I'm on the Hunt, I'm After You
A buzzing in your neural implant reminds you that it's time for the hunt. You head back to the Uptown elevator building, show the receptionist your invitation and your middle finger, and take the elevator up to Uptown. You take a series of moving sidewalks to a landing pad, then switch to an air limousine, which takes you to the Violet Corporation's Genetically Engineered Animal Sanctuary. As you join the crowd of hunters, someone presses a laser crossbow into your hands, and a man mounts a podium and begins to speak. "Friends," he says, "I'm Jonas Tucker. Due to the sale of our genetically-engineered life-inhibiting viruses to the Indigo Corporation, we're able to bring you a humdinger of a hunt this year. We've engineered two animals especially for tonight's hunt: a mythical, legendary, beautiful unicorn, and an adorable living, speaking teddy bear!"
Wow, whichever one you choose, you're going to a special level of hell.
| Hunt the Unicorn |
When Tucker releases the unicorn from its cage, you join the party that runs after it. It's an amazing beast -- snow-white, massive, its horn wobbling ever-so-slightly as its hooves pound the earth. It reminds you of a dream you had this one time, where there was a unicorn running in slow motion -- woah, deja vu.
You and your fellow hunters quickly lose sight of the unicorn, though, and you get separated from the group while you're tracking it.
Finally you spot it drinking from a stream running through the sanctuary. It tosses its mane, water droplets spraying, a brief rainbow forming -- pew pew pew! Good shot!
Mr. Tucker walks up as you're surveying your handiwork. "You know," he says, his voice grumbling ominously, "they say that drinking a unicorn's blood will extend your life, even if you were at the point of death, but that you'd live a cursed half-life." Then he dips a wine goblet into the silvery stuff coming out of the unicorn. "That's why we at Violet Corporation replace the unicorn's blood with a genetically-engineered cocktail of brain, body, and mind enhancers! Turns 'em into high-tech, squishy piñatas! Have a sip!"
You take a sip. It's delicious! Thank goodness you weren't squeamish about riddling that innocent unicorn with searing, gaping, charred holes.
| You gain 118 Strongness. |
| You gain 139 Mysteriousness. |
| You gain 126 Roguishness. |
| Hunt the Teddy Bear |
Tucker opens the teddy bear's cage and it toddles off on comically stumpy legs, muttering "Oh, bother," and "I am not a toy." You and the rest of the hunters give him a sporting 5-minute head start, then head out into the sanctuary after him.
You quickly separate yourself from the other hunters and track the teddy's adorable little pawprints. You finally catch sight of him struggling up a hill, huffing and puffing.
You catch up with the teddy bear at the top of the hill, backing him up against a steep drop on the other side. "I will break," he says, looking nervously down from the cliff. "Oh, I shouldn't have eaten all that hunny." He folds his arms and pouts adorably.
You raise your weapon, but you just can't pull the trigger. He's just too cute. "Look," you say, "you can hide in this hollow tree until the hunt's over. Don't let them find you."
"Thank you," the teddy bear says. "How can I repay you? If I had my cassette tapes, I'd tell you a story. Oh, I know! You can take this." The bear hands you a hypodermic needle. Well, by "hands," I mean he jabs you in the hand with it. "It's one of Violet Corp's pheromone boosters, to help people bond with the freaks of nature they create in that lab of theirs."
 | You acquire an effect: Phairly Pheromonal (duration: 20 Adventures) |
Occurs at Seaside Megalopolis with a Violet Hunt Invitation in your inventory, as a result of choosing the "Chat With the Joker" option in Bad Reception Down Here.
References
- The title of the adventure is a reference to the Duran Duran song "Hungry Like the Wolf", which has the lyrics "I'm on the hunt, I'm after you".
- The description of the running unicorn is reminiscent of the unicorn from the movie Legend in which the unicorn is obviously a horse with a poorly-attached horn, which wobbles as it runs.
- The dream about a unicorn is a reference to the movie Blade Runner.
- Mr Tucker's message about unicorn's blood is a quote from the first Harry Potter book, when a centaur tells Harry the same thing.
- The teddy bear you hunt is a reference to Winnie the Pooh, complete with "Oh, bother".
- The teddy bear also makes reference to the character/toy Teddy Ruxpin when he says he would tell you a story if he had his cassette tapes.
- The teddy bear's claim that he is not a toy is a quote from the robot Teddy, from the movie A.I.
