Jawbruiser

jawbruiser

This is a huge ball of compressed sugar and some unidentifiable attempt at fruit flavoring. It's not quite as brutal as a jawbreaker, but it's definitely not a walk in the park. Kids these days and their sadomasochistic candy . . . back in my day, we had candy everybody wants! And we liked it!

Type: food (good)
Size: 1
Level required: 4
Effect: Sugar Rush (5 Adventures)+20% Combat Initiative
Muscle +5%
Moxie +5%
Mysticality -10%
Cannot be discarded

(In-game plural: jawbruisers)

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Item number: 4333
Description ID: 707896286
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refreshedit data

Obtained From

Items

bindlestocking (sometimes)

Skills

Summon Annoyance

Obsoleted Areas/Methods

Crimbo 2009

Advent Calendar

When Consumed

You eat the jawbruiser, cracking a few molars in the process. By the time you're done, even smiling makes your face ache.

You lose 30−50 hit points.

You gain 1-5 Adventures.

You gain 10-20 Beefiness. You gain 10-20 Magicalness. You gain 10-20 Sarcasm.

You acquire an effect: Sugar Rush (duration: 5 Adventures)

(You gain 1 Fullness.)

When Chucked

• When chucked:

You chuck the jawbruiser at <player>.

• or, if the target is wearing a Protects-Your-Junk:

You chuck the jawbruiser at your target, but for some reason, it bounces back and hits you in the jaw.

• When struck:

<player> has hit you in the jaw with a piece of candy. Crunch!

You acquire an effect: Bruised Jaw (duration: 10 Adventures)

Notes

• Getting Beaten Up by consuming this item lasts for 4 adventures instead of the usual 3.
• Chucking the jawbruiser consumes it.
• You cannot chuck one at a character in Hardcore or Ronin.
• On December 16, 2009 Chatbot was made immune to the jawbruiser. Attempting to chuck one at Chatbot produces:

  Chatbot's jaw is made from dwarf-forged steel, and cannot be bruised.

References

• "Even smiling makes my face ache" is a quote from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
• "...back in my day, we had candy everybody wants! And we liked it!" is a reference to an old Saturday Night Live Dana Carvey skit in which he acts like a "Grumpy Old Man."
• "Candy Everybody Wants" is also the name of a 10000 Maniacs song.

Collection

• 🥇: Rinnith (#37195) - 16,848
• 🥈: Irrat (#3469406) - 6,812
• 🥉: jodez4 (#1162064) - 2,000
• #4: fost (#1774410) - 1,840
• #5: The 3 (#167387) - 1,599
• #6: Parsley (#1188393) - 1,000
• #7: Mistress of the Obvious (#845708) - 669
• #8: Asmodais (#2071543) - 666
• #9: Tiki Shaman (#499851) - 561
• #10: Leopold Jimmleson (#1727654) - 491

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