Nautical Seaceress
| Nautical Seaceress | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 2498 |
| Locations | The Mer-Kin Deepcity |
| Hit Points | 4000 |
| Attack | 2000 |
| Defense | 2500 |
| Initiative | 10000 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | ? |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, tail, torso |
| Drops | Instant Karma, durable dolphin whistle, Thwaitgold lobster statuette |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting The Nautical SeaceressYou burst into the final room in the Nautical Seaceress' lair. There, sitting on a huge black throne on a huge black dais, is the Seaceress Herself.
Nothing could have prepared you for how evilly seductive and seductively evil she is. Her long black hair drifts about her head like a crown of lazy eels, the scales of her Mer-kin tail shimmer and glisten like black pearls, and I bet you didn't know black clams were a thing or that they came in size 40DD, but now you do. She is a vision of pure malevolent nauticalness.
"All this seems vaguely familiar," you say.
"Of course it seems familiar, I'm the final boss," she says. "We've done this like a bajillion times, numbnuts."
"No, I get that, but..." You shake your head. "I don't know, there's something different about this time."
"You were just now puzzling over it being too familiar, and now it's too different? C'mon kid, get your head in the game, will you?" She snaps her fingers at you impatiently. "Focus up!"
"Right, yeah. Yeah." You take a deep breath and clench a fist. "Get ready to see a whole bunch of the same kind of fish, because I'm taking you to school!"
She rolls her eyes so hard, it almost counts as an attack.
Hit Message(s):
She smacks you in the <shoulder> with the end of her tail. It's like getting clocked with a wet ping-pong paddle. Which doesn't sound like much but those are actually pretty solid. Eek! Argh! Oof! Ow! Ouch! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ugh!
She machine-guns ice cubes at you, out of her staff or wand or whatever she ends up being drawn with. Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Ugh!
She summons two black pirhanas that swim in a neat little yin-yang (or I guess pisces?) configuration for a second, before biting the heck out of your <shoulder>. Ugh! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Ouch! Ouch! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Oof!
She does a slinky and seductive dance that, regardless of your personal preferences in such matters, is plenty distracting enough for her to finish with a solid crack at your jaw. Ugh! Ouch! Oof! Oof! Oof! Eek! Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Ugh!
n/a[sic](CRITICAL HIT!)
She shoots a blast of water at you, which isn't very effective since you're already surrounded by the stuff.
She tries to shoot a fireball at you, but ha ha wow, yeah that totally doesn't work. She does at least have the grace to look a little embarrassed by this flub.
She tries to conjure an army of little imps to impede, impair, etc. you. They all drown.
She has to stop for a second to get her randomly-floating hair out of her face. "Shoulda tied this back," she grumbles. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: Instant Karma |
 | You acquire an item: sand penny |
 | You acquire an item: durable dolphin whistle |
You feel your dolphin whistling endurance improve.
 | You acquire an item: Thwaitgold lobster statuette |
Occurs at The Mer-Kin Deepcity in the 11,037 Leagues Under the Sea special challenge path.
Notes
- Your "dolphin whistling endurance" will improve if you already have a durable dolphin whistle from a prior ascension.
