North Pole Bonfire

North Pole Bonfire appeared in the Site Alpha Research Facility during Crimbo 2021.

First visit after December 14, 2021:

Site Alpha appears to be some kind of large concrete factory / laboratory facility, mostly covered with snow and ice. It looks a lot more like what you would expect a real-ass science complex at the North Pole would look like, rather than a fun Crimbo wonderland.

A large bonfire has been constructed near the front of the complex, and numerous elves in heavy winter gear are rushing around. As you approach, you hear a familiar jingling sound.

"[player name]! Oh, I'm so glad you're here!" Tammy the tambourine elf runs up to you, tambourine in one hand and clipboard in the other, and gives you a worried hug. "This whole situation is just terrible!"

"Yeah, Abuela gave me the basic rundown," you say. "It seems pretty dire, Chin up, though -- we've been through worse, you know?"

"I hope you're right, but it's awful brave of you to say that on the first day," she says, eyebrows knitted.

"What's the situation here?" you ask. "How can I help?"

"Well, most of the buildings in the complex are frozen over, and we can't get into them. So we built this huge bonfire to thaw them out? It seems to be working so far, we've managed to get into the dormitory, and a place that seems like some kind of a spa?"

She consults her clipboard. "I've split the elves here into two teams -- Team Cinnamon is foraging for more bonfire materials, and Team Nutmeg is scouting out the buildings. That seems like more your kind of thing, should I put you down for Team Nutmeg?"

"Sure, Team Nutmeg it is," you nod.

"Great! Go on ahead and see what you can find, I'm gonna stay here at the bonfire and try to keep warm. I mean, keep everything coordinated."

On subsequent visits:

The Site Alpha team is busy checking their equipment and taking inventory of their candy canes, while Tammy shakes both her tambourine and her clipboard at anyone standing still long enough to attract her attention.

After December 15, 2021:

Tammy is frowning at her clipboard as you approach. "How's it going, Tammy?" you ask.

"Umm. Well, I've got good news and bad news," she says, with a worried shake of her tambourine. "The good news is, Team Cinnamon has got another building thawed out, and it's got a machine in it that seems to be some kind of food-making thingy? Like, it turns undifferentiated animal-type matter into edible foods? So that's neat."

"That is pretty neat. What's the bad news?"

"The bad news is that all the elves on Team Nutmeg have either categorically refused to go back inside any of the buildings, or have been categorically turned into goo monsters. So Team Nutmeg is just you, now."

"Swell."

After December 16, 2021:

You find Tammy and another elf huddled close to the bonfire, playing a game of chess. Just as the elf makes his winning move, Tammy notices you and jumps up excitedly, knocking her mug of eggnog across the board, to the other elf's dismay. "[player name]! Great news!" Tammy says excitedly, then hesitates. "Well, maybe good news. It could be bad news? ...[player name]! News!"

"What's up, Tammy?"

"We've thawed out another building! It seems like maybe a greenhouse? I mean, nobody went inside, but it's got big windows like a greenhouse. Unless maybe it's a prison for people who throw too many stones?"

"...Mm-hmm. Okay, I'll go check it out."

"Please be careful, we saw more of those... things moving around inside. I guess we accidentally thawed them out too."

After December 17, 2021:

"Hi, [player name]!" Tammy waves her tambourine at you excitedly. "Guess what, guess what?"

"Jeez, you're full of pep today," you reply. "Did you find the cheer orb or whatever it was?"

"The Cheer Core, and no, not yet. But we did find a machine that makes eggnog! We were nearly out of the eggnog rations we brought with us, so it's a real important find! That's like, the main thing we elves drink!"

"Nice! It's that newly-unfrozen building over there, I assume?"

"Yep! Just toss some raw vegetable matter into it, and it makes fresh eggnog!"

"...Just vegetable matter? No eggs?" you ask.

"Huh?" Tammy cocks her head to one side like a golden retriever who's just heard a high-pitched noise. "Eggs are vegetables, silly!"

"...Ah, right. You're a vegetarian, aren't you?"

"Yes -- I stuck with it after that whole Gaia thing a few years ago," she says. "Except for dolphins. Why do you ask?"

"Eh, no reason. Never mind."

After December 18, 2021:

"So, what's this new place you've defrosted?" you ask Tammy, after the usual morning greetings. "It definitely isn't a typical sort of lab building."

"I know, right?" Tammy says. She tilts her head to the side in thought, one finger dimpling her chin. "It looks like a quarry, but I dunno what they would've needed big stone blocks for -- the lab buildings are all concrete and sheet-metal."

"Hmm. Maybe it's an ancient quarry from another civilization, that was already here when the researchers arrived? And maybe they found some kind of special mineral down in the bottom of it, that was the key to unlocking the power of the Cheer Core? And maybe they dug too greedily and too deep, and accidentally unleashed these horrible goo monsters?"

"Gosh!" Tammy exclaims, her eyes wide. "How spooky! Any or all of those things could be true!"

"Or maybe none of them!" you say. "I guess we'll never know."

After December 19, 2021:

"Hi, Tammy," you wave as she bounds up to you, rattling her tambourine in a way that conveys both excitement and worry. "What's that new building?"

"It's another one of those funny little labs," she says. "This one turns, uh... it turns minerals into chemicals?"

"That's the second least-specific machine I've ever heard of."

"We think the chemicals are, like, medicines and stuff," she clarifies. "We've just been kinda wary about actually testing them out."

"Ah, okay. Well, I certainly don't have any qualms about ingesting any random nonsense I find, regardless of what it might do to my spleen," you say.

"I'm worried, though! We've only got one building left to thaw out, and we haven't found out anything about the Cheer Core at all!"

"Relax, Tammy, that's a good thing -- it means we're nearly there. Quest items are always in the last place you're allowed to look for them."

After December 20, 2021:

You arrive at the bonfire and look around for Tammy, but don't see her anywhere. However, after a moment, a distant jingling of bells catches your attention, and you spot her waving at you from over by the sauna.

"[player name], look! Look at this thing!" she says when you arrive. "One of the elves on Team Cinnamon found it while looking for more firewood this morning." The thing in question is a large rectangular metal slab set into the ground, surrounded by the slush of melted snow and ice. "It might be a secret underground lab! Or a biohazard containment unit! Or a dungeon!"

"Or a septic tank," you mutter, as you kick the slush away from the edges of the panel, looking for a handle or hinge or something. Eventually you find a small panel at one corner, which pops open to reveal a shiny red button.

"Ooh! Ooh! Can I push it? Let me push it!"

"You want to push the button on a possible biohazard containment unit? Maybe we should--" beep! "--Okay, well, sure."

Tammy claps her hands with joy. "Hee hee! They never let me push buttons in the factory! They have a sign about it with my name on it and everything!"

Her expression quickly turns into a wide-eyed "Ooooooo!" as a large steel box rises out of the ground and unfolds itself into an elaborate machine. It's similar in design to the lab equipment you've seen before, but much more complicated. You end up having to pick Tammy up and carry her over your shoulder back to the bonfire, before she can push any more buttons. One of the other elves gives you a serious nod and a thumbs-up as you pass.

After December 21, 2021:

When you arrive at the bonfire, Tammy is patiently explaining to an elf that cutting sticks in half may give you more sticks, but it doesn't give you more firewood. Once that's sorted out, she gives you a tired sigh.

"Hi, [player name]! Sorry, but we still haven't managed to thaw that last building yet. Who would have thought that firewood would be so hard to find on the North Pole??"

"Oh, yeah, not me, for sure," you reply.

"We did find this, though! One of the braver elves snuck into a lab to look for burnable furniture, and found it in a cupboard."

The object in question turns out to be a huge cartoon-style horseshoe magnet, with a bunch of cables and switches and stuff wired into the side. "What does it do?" you ask.

"No idea! The only experiment we ran on it was for wood. It doesn't attract wood."

You acquire an item: goo magnet

After December 22, 2021:

"Hiya, Tammy," you say. "Anything new today?"

"Not in terms of, like, actual mission progress, no," Tammy says with a :/ . "But, I had some free time, so I made you an early Crimbo present! Here!" She hands you a festive paper gift bag.

You open the bag and pull out a big warm scarf. "Awww, how nice! Thank you! Did you make it yourself?"

"I sure did! Out of leftover wool emergency blankets and hair!"

"What... kind of hair?"

"Dunno! Some big animal carcass we found. What do polar bears eat? Anyway, can I have the gift bag back?"

You hand her the bag, and she crumples it up and throws it on the fire. "Every little bit helps!"

You acquire an item: cozy scarf

After December 23, 2021:

Tammy is practically -- by which I mean literally -- hopping up and down with excitement and anxiety. "[player name]! [player name]! We got the last building thawed out! It's some kind of big creepy laboratory! That's just got to be where they made the Cheer Core!"

"That's great news, Tammy!" you say. "We'll have Crimbo Town back to normal any time now!"

"Unless there's a big boss monster! Or if you have to decode some kind of elaborate instructions to make it! Or travel all over the world to collect parts and ingredients! Or..."

"Tammy, please don't jinx it."

"We still have to figure out what to do about the goo monsters, too! If they escape the facility and make it back to civilization, it could be the end of life as we know it!"

"Tammy, please."

After recovering the Cheer Core:

All the elves have gone back to Crimbo Town, but the bonfire got so big that it'll probably take a little while for it to burn itself out. That leaves you some time to keep messing around with gray goo, if you've a mind to do that.

If you're wondering why you can still see little elf silhouettes next to the fire, just have another eggnog.