Random scenester
| Random scenester | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 973 |
| Locations | Any location, with a Mini-Hipster familiar |
| Hit Points | 75% of player's muscle |
| Attack | Moxie (cap at 10 000) |
| Defense | Muscle (cap at 10 000) |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | ironic jogging shorts |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
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You're fighting a random scenester |
A random hipster spots your Mini-Hipster and strolls over. He doesn't have any remarkable characteristics that are worth remarking on. You're not entirely sure why this guy warrants his own little black text box, but you'll have to just go with it.
"Hey, <Familiar Name>," he says, "are we going to fight, or what? I mean, you said that one thing about that one girl, and that sucked."
ROUND ONE: APATHETICALLY FIGHT!
Hit Message(s):
He aims a half-assed kick at <Familiar Name>, and ends up hitting half of your ass instead. Eek! Ugh! Ouch! Ow! Ugh! Eek!
He launches a half-hearted punch at <Familiar Name>, but it lands on your entire heart. It's surprisingly painful. Ooh! Ooh! Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ooh!
He tries to kick <Familiar Name> in the shins, but kicks your shins instead. Man, what is this guy even doing here? Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ugh! Eek! Ugh!
He swats you with his oversized vintage digital watch with the day-glo pink band. Random guy, meet random detail. Eek! Eek! Eek! Ooh! Ouch! Ugh!
He says, "oh, that's right, I'm a Methodist! That means I can breathe fire!" Then he immolates you and <Familiar Name> with a gout of flame. Well, that was random. Ow! Eek! Ouch! Ouch! Eek! Ooh!
He aims a half-assed kick at <Familiar Name>, and misses both his ass and yours.
He launches a half-hearted punch at <Familiar Name>, but misses. What's he doing in this fight, anyway?
He goes off to get another can of Blatt's First-Prize. Since you may or may not be in a bar right now, it may take a while.
He yawns and checks his oversized vintage digital watch with the day-glo pink band. Random guy, meet random detail.
He goes over and chats with a couple of other extras with black text boxes over their heads. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: ironic jogging shorts |
Occurs anywhere, with Mini-Hipster equipped (sometimes)
