Scavenger Is Your Middle Name
Now that you're thoroughly carbonated, what do you want to do?
| Forage for food (1) |
You climb over piles of rubble, looking for a delectable bit of rotten garbage that you can stuff into your filthy cockroach mouth. As you skitter along the outskirts of Spookyraven Manor, a wonderful smell lights up your antennae. It smells like someone's taken some kind of bean, ground it up, and run boiling water through it. That may not sound too appetizing, but you find it *whip crack* *glass breaking* simply irresistible
You finally find the source of the heavenly smell -- it's a glass jar with some ground-up beans at the bottom of it, leaning against one of the walls of the Manor. You climb up the wall and drop down into the jar, covering yourself in the delicious grounds. They're so tasty, it takes you a while to figure out that you're slowly sinking into the grounds. When you do, you try to free yourself, but you only sink deeper into the water at the bottom of the jar.
The good news is that it takes a long time for cockroaches to drown.
Wait -- I guess that's the bad news.
| Forage for items (1) |
You figure that all the adventurers who were vaporized in the bomb blast must have left some pretty choice gear behind, so you look around to see what you can salvage. You make your way to the clan district and skitter over the ruins of various clan halls, trying to find something worth salvaging in their stashes.
In one clan's stash, you see a glimmer of strange light coming from something on the top of a pile in one corner. You scuttle over to investigate, and see that it's a time helmet! Those things are hard to come by -- it seems like you haven't seen a new one in years. You scramble up the pile, grab the chunk of petrified time at the top of the helmet, and start to drag it down the pile with you. It's surprisingly heavy, but once you get it moving, it starts rolling down the pile almost faster than you can scramble in front of it.
Actually, it rolls faster than you can scramble in front of it. By the time it hits the bottom of the pile, you're on top of it, and when it rolls over again -- well, let's just say that petrified time is pretty sharp, and much more durable than a cockroach's carapace.
| Forage for friends (1) |
The elation at having survived a nuclear blast wears off pretty quickly, and you start to feel lonely. You crave human -- er, cockroach interaction, so you skitter around the ruined Seaside Town straining your ears -- er, antennae for sounds of other cockroaches.
Near the Superfluous Fountain, you hear the furtive scampering of another roach approaching you, accompanied by a weird mechanical whining sound. As it gets closer, you see a glowing red light, which eventually reveals itself to be the glowing eye of something that's part cockroach, part machine.
You click your legs and wave your antennae to give the cockroach equivalent of "Hey, man, what's up?"
A cold, synthesized voice (with an incongruous Austrian accent) booms from a speaker attached to the top of the cybernetic roach: "I am da CR-100 roachbot. I was sent here from de future to prevent a catastrophe from taking place. When de bomb fell, only de cockroashes were left alive, and evenshully dey developed technolochee and science. De only thing dat could stop dem is a cockroach with a human mind inside of it. Dat cockroach must be destroyed or our fuschia will never come to be."
You respond with the cockroach equivalent of "your fuschia? Everything's purple in the future?"
The roachbot's gleaming red eye narrows. "Only de mind of a human could come up wit such a horrible choke. You must be tuhminated."
The last thing you hear is a series of clicking noises as the roachbot cocks several dozen nasty, nasty roach guns, before he empties several dozen roach clips into you.
Occurs upon selecting "Sift through the wreckage" during It's Nukyuhlur - the 'S' is Silent.
References
- The sound effects in Forage for food are from the Robert Palmer song, "Simply Irresistible".
- The foraging for friends choice pokes fun at the Terminator series of films, especially the Austrian accent of star Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Though it may be unintentional, there are realistic roach clips.
