It's Nukyuhlur - the 'S' is Silent.
You're standing in the ruins of the Seaside Town, gazing up at a mushroom cloud high above you. Radioactive wind whistles through shattered windows. In a nearby playground, a blackened merry-go-round squeaks mournfully. It's all very significant and cautionary and dramatic, but not particularly exciting. There are pretty limited options available for a cockroach who has survived a nuclear holocaust, so how are you going to keep yourself entertained?
| Party with your fellow roaches (1) |
You scuttle into a nearby garbage bin, looking to have a good time with your fellow roaches. You find a swarm of roaches having a shindig on top of a half-eaten Beelzeburger. When you were a human, you weren't all that fond of cockroaches, but it turns out they really know how to party. There's all the rotten Beelzeburger you can eat, and plenty of scintillating cockroach conversation.You find yourself chatting up a female cockroach with a nice-looking egg case. She seems pretty into you -- she keeps seductively brushing your antennae with hers.
| You gain X (capped at 200) Chutzpah. |
| Catch up on your reading (1) |
Of course! Now that you're free of all those wretched people and monsters that put demands on your time -- now that the Council of Loathing fits in an ashtray, that is -- you can do all the reading you always intended to do! You scuttle through the wreckage to the library across the street from the Sleazy Back Alley. There's a pile of rubble in front of the doors, but you manage to shift some of the smaller pieces and worm your way (roach your way?) between the bigger ones. You finally make it to the big X in the middle of the library and rest for a minute, panting after the workout. Assuming cockroaches can pant. Look, how much research do you expect me to do? You're the cockroach, you figure it out.
| You gain ? (capped at 200) Strongness. |
| Sift through the wreckage (1) |
You scuttle over, into, around, and through the rubble of the wrecked Seaside Town, learning valuable lessons about prepositions as you look for stuff worth looting. Your priorities have changed somewhat now that you're a cockroach: you're thinking less "powerful magical items and meat" and more "delicious rotting garbage."
You crawl up a giant plastic cup and fall into a pool of delicious Dyspepsi-Cola. With no regard for propriety, the bubbles slide up under your carapace and forcibly refresh you.
 | You gain 150−200 Mana Points. |
Occurs when heading towards the noise during Enter the Roach.
Notes
- The value of X is equal to your unbuffed mainstat.
References
- The line "the 's' is silent" is from an episode of Family Guy, where Lois mentions a nuclear holocaust and Peter tells her, "You said 'nuclear'(NOO-klee-ur). It's 'NOO-kyu-lur,' dummy. The 's' is silent."
- The "big X in the middle of the library" refers to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
- The line "you can do all the reading you always intended to do" may be a reference to the The Twilight Zone episode Time Enough at Last, where a book-lover has all the time he needs to read following a nuclear war.
