Sexy sorority vampire
| Sexy sorority vampire | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1104 |
| Locations | The Haunted Sorority House |
| Hit Points | 110/221/442/884 |
| Attack | 85/170/340/680 |
| Defense | 85/170/340/680 |
| Initiative | 50 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | undead |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | Blood Light, Haunted Sorority House staff guide, bite-me-red lipstick, Nightstalker perfume, Mesmereyes™ contact lenses |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Traci Witchburn, the Sexy Ventriloquist VampireYou see a sorority girl in a sexy costume standing alone by a window, listening intently to the sound outside. "Uh, what are you listening to?" you ask.
"Children of the Night. Such beautiful music they make?" she replies.
You listen hard, but can't hear anything. Then you notice she's got earphones in. "Yeah, Children of the Night are, like, post-emo indie punk and the lead singer's totally a hottie?" she says. Then suddenly, a propos of nothing (buckle up for the sex), she tries to bite your neck.
You walk into a room where two sorority girls in sexy costumes are arguing with each other. One shouts, "you bitch! You killed me! You suck!"
"Calm down," the other one says. "I just turned you into a vampire. We both suck!" They have a good laugh, and then one of them turns to you and tries to rip your throat out.
You see a sorority girl in a weird sexy costume, getting hit on by one of your fellow haunted house visitors. "So, can I get you a Russian Ice, or a Bane's Farm, or maybe some Bartleby&Scrivner? Or do you prefer not to?"
"I never drink wine . . . coolers," she says, and rips his throat out. Then she sets her sights on you.
A prop coffin in the corner of the living room slowly slides open, and a vampire sorority girl (in a weirdly specific sexy costume not pictured) floats out of it. "I have crossed, like, oceans of time to be with you?" she says, and goes for your jugular.
A bat flies in through the window and lands on a sofa. There's a puff of smoke, and where the bat was sitting is a sorority girl vampire in a weirdly post-modern sexy Halloween costume. "N-n-n-nosferatu!" you stammer.
"Um, like, bless you?" the vampire says, and leaps straight at your throat.
A sorority vampire in a weirdly specific sexy costume comes gliding down the stairs towards you. "I want to suck your . . . blood? Weird, that's not how that sentence usually ends," she says. Then she leaps at you to rip your throat out.
Hit Message(s):
She turns into a bat and gets into your hair, flapping and shrieking and clawing with her little claws. Ugh. Ouch! Oof!
She turns into a bat and bites you on the neck. One of those steps was unnecessary. Ugh! Argh!
She turns into mist and gives you a brief coughing fit. Ow! Ow!
She, like, sinks her fangs into your skull? Well, that totally bites. Ooh! Ouch!
She sinks her fangs into you and sucks your, like, blood? Well, that sucks. Ow! Ugh!
She turns into a wolf and chomps you in the <calf>. Hey, that's cheating! Ow! Ow!
She grabs you, turns into a bat, flies up to the roof with you, then drops you off the roof. Then she turns into a wolf and falls with you, clawing and biting you. Then as you land on the pavement, she sinks her fangs into you. Ooh! Oof!
She turns into a bat and flaps around, shrieking. It's off-putting but not particularly harmful.
She tries to bite you in the jugular, but is terrible at spelling and bites a passing juggalo instead.
She turns into mist, then can't figure out how to hurt you with mist.
She tries to sink her fangs into you, but you make a cross out of your pointer fingers to ward her off.
She tries to suck your blood, but she totally sucks at it.
She turns into a wolf and howls at the moons for a minute.
She grabs you, then turns into mist, losing her grip. So she grabs you again and turns into a bat, allowing you to bat her to the side. "Gah, I'm, like, terrible at this?" she asks. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: Blood Light (1% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Haunted Sorority House staff guide (1% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: bite-me-red lipstick (5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Nightstalker perfume (1% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: Mesmereyes™ contact lenses (1% chance)* |
| You gain 170 <substat>. |
Occurs at The Haunted Sorority House.
Notes
- Images are randomly any of the following:
- The Blood Light, Nightstalker perfume and Mesmereyes™ contact lenses drops cannot be forced by a yellow ray, or by pulled yellow taffy in a copied underwater battle.
- This monster cannot be wished for.
