Smut orc pipelayer

Smut orc pipelayer
Monster ID	1231
Locations	The Smut Orc Logging Camp
Hit Points	69
Attack	69
Defense	69
No-Hit	79
Initiative	50
Meat	28-42
Phylum	orc
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops	orcish rubber, freshwater pearl necklace, hardening cream
Quest	long hard screw, messy butt joint, morningwood plank, raging hardwood plank, thick caulk, weirdwood plank
Bounty	length of bent pipe
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a smut orc pipelayer

This smut orc digs trenches and places a series of waterproofed wooden pipes in them, to make the orcish sewer and water system work. And, y''know^[sic], to make sure the sewer and fresh water systems are actually two different systems. That's the important part.

Hit Message(s):

He digs a trench straight through your <solar plexus> and carefully lays a length of pipe in there. Oof! Argh!

He hits you with one calloused, work-roughened hand. You almost wish he'd have hit you with the pipe instead. Ooh! Ouch!

He lays some pipe. Specifically, he lays it about three inches into the top of your skull. Ooh! Eek!

He clobbers you with a length of wooden pipe. Turns out he's a clobberer cobbler as well as a pipelayer. Oof! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He jams a length of pipe into your chest, making your respiratory system part of the orcish sewage system for a few disgusting minutes. Argh! Ooh! Ugh! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

He tries to dig a trench through your <giblets>, but your trenchant protestations make him stop.

He tries to just haul off and hit you in the face, but he's a pipe layer, not a fighter.

He tries to lay into you with a pipe, but you tell him to lay off.

He tries to clobber you with a pipe, but it's not clobberin' time, so he has some peach cobbler instead.

Fumble Message:

He punches a nearby time clock, takes out his lunch, and takes his time eating it. Dang union pipelayers. (FUMBLE!)

---

After Combat

You gain 28-42 Meat. (average: 35, stdev: 3.24)*

You acquire an item: freshwater pearl necklace (5.7% chance)*

You acquire an item: orcish rubber (15.5% chance)*

You acquire an item: hardening cream (5% chance)*

You acquire an item: "appropriate" piece of lumber (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: "appropriate" fastener (10.7% chance)*

You acquire a bounty item: length of bent pipe

(X of 10 found)

You gain 19-21 <substat>.

Notes

• Lumber and fasteners only drop when you have not yet completed the bridge over The Orc Chasm.
• Wielding a logging hatchet causes an extra piece of lumber to drop about half the time.
• Having a loadstone in your off-hand causes an extra fastener to drop about half the time.

History

• Prior to the update on February 20th, 2019, the monster had 70 HP, 80 Attack and 75 Defense.

References

• The monster's stats being all 69 refers to the sex position (NSFW).