Super-sized Cola Wars soldier
| Super-sized Cola Wars soldier | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1636 |
| Locations | The Secret Government Laboratory |
| Hit Points | 150 |
| Attack | 200 |
| Defense | 200 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | spooky |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Drops | ice-cold Cloaca Zero, first-aid pouch, khaki duffel bag |
| Manuel | iron torso box |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a super-sized Cola Wars soldierA huge, hulking soldier wearing an old Cloaca-Cola uniform comes clanking down the corridor at you.
I say "clanking" because his gigantic frame is augmented with Cola-Wars era technology, so he's some kind of steampunk cyborg. The shadowy organization that runs things here was probably planning on shoving him back through the time rift so he could turn the sugary, carbonated tide of the war.
Hit Message(s):
He bum-rushes you and knocks you to the ground, then cracks your sternum with a well-placed boot. Ugh! Oof! Oof!
He leaps high into the air on hydraulic-powered legs, and brings his augmented bulk crashing down on you. Ugh! Ugh! Ow!
He pulls a shield off of his back and smacks you with it. Ugh! Eek! Ugh!
He punches a nearby punching bag so hard it flies off its rope and knocks you down. Ooh! Eek! Eek!
He punches you with his clanking, gear-driven cybernetic arm. Ow! Ugh! Argh!
He shakes up a can of Cloaca-Cola with his cybernetic arm, and the spray when he opens it knocks you arse-over-teakettle. Ow! Eek! Ugh!
He puts more coal in his boiler, stokes himself up, then becomes a tornado of flailing fists and feet. You get sucked in, whirled around, pummeled senseless, and spit back out. (CRITICAL HIT!) Eek! Ugh! Ow!
He stops to wonder if he can still consider himself a good guy, what with all the wanton murdering he does.
He leaps into the air on hydraulic-powered legs, putting a sizable dent in the ceiling with his helmet.
He tries to hit you with his shield, but you point out that that's not what shields are for.
He stops to take out some aggression on a nearby punching bag.
He tries to punch you with his cybernetic arm, but it's offline.
He tries to shake up a can of Cloaca-Cola with his cybernetic arm, but some of the gears are stuck.
He stops to wonder why he's still fighting, and who the good guys are, and why life can't be as simple as it was back in his own time. You sympathize. I mean, the kids these days, with their hippity-hoppity music and their Beats by Dre... (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: ice-cold Cloaca Zero (15% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: first-aid pouch (5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: khaki duffel bag (10% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: airborne mutagen (10% chance)* |
- With full Manuel entries:
 | You acquire an item: iron torso box (10% chance)* |
Occurs at The Secret Government Laboratory.
Notes
- The khaki duffel bag only drops if the 1912 protocol has been activated at A Mysterious Control Panel.
