The Middle of the Beginning of the End
Sitting in the captain's chair is the biggest, ugliest bugbear you've ever seen. He's built entirely out of muscle and scar tissue, and even his noodly arms are more rigatoni than spaghetti. Half of his face has been replaced by a metal plate riveted into his skull, with a red light glowing malevolently in place of his left eye. "In the beginning . . ." his voice rumbles, "there was the light. And in that light there was a dark. And in that dark were the bug and the bear. Dark in the light; Bear and bug in the Dark. Together."
"Is there a bog down in the valley-o in this story?" you ask.
"You mock that which you don't understand," the Captain says, chuckling to himself. "You are pathetic mewling infants compared to the Bugbear Consortium. We have colonized the known universe. We are legion. We are the sand on the beach of the ocean of time, and we are here to get wedged in your bathing suit. I mean . . . never mind. We are awesome. You suck."
| ... |
