The Real Thing
As you wander the corpse-strewn battlefield, you see a giant man in a giant breastplate painted with the Cloaca-Cola insignia. He's standing with his hands on his knees, taking a break from the battle. As you draw closer, you recognize his face from drawings in your history books. “Wow, you're Mean José Verde!” you say. “You're the meanest, orneriest, most vicious... er... sorry to bother you, sir.” You find a can of Cloaca-Cola amidst the detritus on the battlefield. “Here, Mean José!”
The man glares at you, then drains the can in one long swallow and smiles at you. “Thanks, kid.” He takes off his breastplate and throws it at you.
You're crushed beneath the weight, but getting out from under it proves to be an effective workout.
| You gain ((2*mainstat + 0-9) of Muscle) in , capped at 50. |
Occurs at The Cola Wars Battlefield.
References
- "The Real Thing" is a reference to several Coca-Cola advertising campaigns that featured variants of that phrase.
- The encounter with Mean José Verde is a parody of an old Coca-Cola TV commercial, where a kid offers football player "Mean" Joe Greene his soda, and Joe gives the kid his jersey as a token of thanks. ("José Verde" is Spanish for "Joe Green".)
