Toothy pirate
| Toothy pirate | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 620 |
| Locations | Barrrney's Barrr |
| Hit Points | 75 |
| Attack | 83 |
| Defense | 76 |
| No-Hit | 93 |
| Initiative | 50 |
| Meat | 36-54 |
| Phylum | pirate |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Drops | bottle of rum, cocktail napkin |
| Manuel | gold toothbrush |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a toothy pirateYou're temporarily blinded by the flash of a mouth full of gold teeth. The pirate attached to the teeth sees you squint and grins. "Wow," you say, "you must be a field day for the tooth fairy!"
"What did ye call me?" he asks, unable to see your comma placement. Great, looks like you're getting in another fight.
Hit Message(s):
He bites you with his golden motorcycles. Wait, those are choppers, baby. Choppers. Ow! Ow! Eek!
He bites you in the <skull>. Man, this bites. Ooh! Argh! Oof!
He bites you with the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth. Argh! Eek! Ugh!
You're momentarily distracted by a gleam of light from one of his many gold teeth. He takes advantage of your distraction, and kicks you in the <skull>. Argh! Ugh! Ugh!
He punches you heavily in the <skull>. Looks like he has a golden arm in addition to the golden tooth. And probably a gold finger and a golden eye, and possibly a golden gun. Maybe even a moonraker. Ugh! Ugh! Oof! Ooh!
He tries to bite you with his golden motorcycles, but you point out they're actually choppers.
He tries to bite you, but is stricken with a toothache. What time is it? Tooth hurty.
He tries to bite you on the <skull>, but being a bit too long in the tooth, he misses by several inches.
He tries to bite you in the <skull>, but you counter with some biting criticism.
He rears back for another bite, but a messenger appears with an envelope for him. He opens it, sees that it's his dental bill, and promptly keels over in a dead faint. (FUMBLE!)
 | You gain 36-54 Meat (average: 45, stdev: 4.06)* |
 | You acquire an item: bottle of rum (18.2% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: cocktail napkin (9.5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: gold toothbrush (? chance)* |
| You gain 20-24 <substat>. |
Occurs at Barrrney's Barrr
Notes
- Using a tube of Tom's of the Spanish Main Toothpaste on this monster results in a gain of about 100-150 MP, with the following message:
- You drop the tube of toothpaste on the ground, and the toothy pirate immediately picks it up.
- "Yarrr. Just what I've been lookin' fer," he says, as he whips out a toothbrush and goes to town on his teeth.
- When he's done, he beams a smile at you -- a smile so bright that you're pretty sure it makes a creepy outline of your silhouette on the wall behind you.
- The gold toothbrush only drops for players with Monster Manuel installed in their Quest Log.
References
- The Critical Hit message references several James Bond films; namely GoldenEye, Goldfinger, The Man with the Golden Gun, and Moonraker.
- The miss message about mistaking the distinction between a motorcycle and a chopper is a reference to a scene in Pulp Fiction.
