Dry noodle guide

The Hermit humbly requests that this page be rewritten or expanded. Pulverize should probably be pulled in. Also, this should include lasangas and wontons.

Dry noodle cooking can be broken down into three types: basic, saucy, and meins.

Basic dry noodle

Pasta Dish	Cook with dry noodles
boring spaghetti	tomato
delicious noodles	herbs
delicious spicy noodles	secret blend of herbs and spices
painful penne pasta	jabañero pepper
pr0n m4nic0tti	pr0n legs
ravioli della hippy	wad of tofu
spicy noodles	spices

Of these, the best is clearly the delicious spicy noodles offering 10.3 stats per fullness and 3.7 adventures per fullness. However, the difficulty with these is it requires spices and herbs. Spices may be difficult to obtain. Additionally, one could make significantly better chow meins with the herbs and spices.

Failing easy access to secret blends the next best for adventures at 3.2 adventures per fullness and with acceptable stats at 6.0 stats per fullness is the painful penne pasta, though this also requires access to the hermit for the jabañero pepper.

Without touching the hermit, boring spaghetti and ravioli della hippy both offer 7.0 stats per fullness. Spaghetti offers 2.5 adventures per fullness while ravioli della hippy is 2.7 adventures per fullness. The advantage of boring spaghetti is its easy tomato drops at low levels and that one can buy tomatoes from the hippy store later in the game if needed.

Delicious noodles are a reasonable choice if one is trying to work on moxie offering slightly better adventures per fullness at 2.8, though lower stats per fullness at 5.7.

Pr0n m4nic0tti is now a viable choice with 2.8 adventures per fullness and 7.X stats per fullness.

Reagent dishes (Saucy dry noodles)

Food name	Base food item	Sauce name	Stat gain
fettucini Inconnu	goat cheese	fancy schmancy cheese sauce	47 - 52 Sarcasm
gnocchetti di Nietzsche	knob mushroom	Himalayan Hidalgo sauce	47 - 52 Mysteriousness
spaghetti with Skullheads	Knob sausage	sauce of the ages	47 - 52 Strengthliness
Hell ramen	Hellion cube	Hell broth	23 - 28 in each stat and meat

There are four saucy dry noodles, of which three are about the same - one working for each stat. All sauce dishes are 6 fullness items meaning that without Stomach of Steel, one can only eat two a day. With Stomach of Steel, one is able to eat three per day.

Hell ramen is the best of the set with the most stats per fullness at 12.8. The other three offer 8.3 stats per fullness, though in a particular area. This makes them choice dishes for Stat Days where the 25% bonus can be used with best efficiency.

All Sauce dishes offer about 4.2 adventures per fullness.

Chow mein

The chow mein dishes are some of the best foods in the Kingdom. They all require a secret blend of herbs and spices, dry noodles, MSG and one or two other ingredients. You need Pastamastery to summon the dry noodles and Transcendental Noodlecraft to create chow mein. Generally, the tofu and pr0n chow meins are considered separate from the other chow meins, due to their lower fullness, lower stat boosts, and irregular recipes.

Food name	Base Ingredient 1	Base Ingredient 2	Adventures	Stat Gains	Fullness
tofu chow mein	stalk of asparagus	wad of tofu	11-19	18-22 Strengthliness, 20-25 Mysteriousness	3
pr0n chow mein	olive	pr0n legs	16-24	20-26 Strengthliness, 20-26 Sarcasm	4
knob sausage chow mein	knoll mushroom	knob sausage	21-29	72-76 Strengthliness	5
bat wing chow mein	knob mushroom	bat wing	21-29	70-75 Mysteriousness	5
rat appendix chow mein	spooky mushroom	rat appendix	21-29	70-75 Sarcasm	5

Lo meins

Lo meins are a type of chow mein. They can be cooked using Pastamastery by combining a first-tier stir fry with dry noodles. The Wok of Ages is not required.

Lo Mein	Base Stir-Fry	Adventures	Stat gains	Fullness
asparagus lo mein	asparagus stir-fry	9-16	10-14 Strengthliness, 12-16 Mysteriousness.	3
Knob lo mein	Knob stir-fry	14-20	30-34 Mysteriousness	4
Knoll lo mein	Knoll stir-fry	14-21	30-34 Strengthliness	4
olive lo mein	olive stir-fry	9-16	10-14 Strengthliness, 10-14 Sarcasm	3
spooky lo mein	spooky stir-fry	14-21	30-34 Sarcasm	4

Hi meins

Hi meins are an improved type of chow mein. They are created by kicking elemental sour sauces up a notch in The Wok of Ages. Transcendental Noodlecraft is required to access The Wok of Ages. The Way of Sauce is required to make the elemental sour sauces. You must be able to Pulverize equipment to get half of the ingredients for the elemental sour sauces.

There are several disadvantages to hi meins that offset their advantages. Access to The Malus of Forethought is only available to Muscle classes, while The Wok of Ages is only accessible to Mysticality classes. Therefore, characters in Hardcore will have to belong to a Mystical class to make and consume hi mein, and will have to wait until they've found and smashed equipment good enough to produce elemental nuggets without the Malus' special combining properties - usually level 9 or higher, although it's possible earlier with access to The Haunted Gallery in Spookyraven Manor.

Hi Mein	Base Sauce	Adventures	Muscle	Mysticality	Moxie	Fullness
cold hi mein	cold and sour sauce	21-29	70-75	30-35	15-20	5
hot hi mein	hot and sour sauce	21-29	70-75	15-20	30-35	5
sleazy hi mein	sleazy and sour sauce	21-29	25-30	25-30	70-75	5
spooky hi mein	spooky and sour sauce	21-29	15-20	70-75	30-35	5
stinky hi mein	stench and sour sauce	21-29	30-35	70-75	15-20	5

Lasagnas

Base Food	Seasoning	Casserole	Lasagna	Adventures	Stat Gains	Fullness
filet of tangy gnat ("fotelif")	ancient spice	gnatloaf casserole	gnat lasagna	11-18	45-55 Strengthliness	3
long pork	black pepper	long pork casserole	long pork lasagna	11-18	45-55 Mysteriousness	3
displaced fish	dehydrated caviar	fishy fish casserole	fishy fish lasagna	11-18	45-55 Sarcasm	3

Wontons

McMillicancuddy Item	Base Food	Food	Wonton	Adventures	Muscle	Mysticality	Moxie	Fullness
McMillicancuddy's Special Lager	frat brats	beer basted brat	sausage wonton	12-18	50-80	20-30	20-30	3
megatofu	mixed wildflower greens	super salad	tofu wonton	11-18	20-30	50-80	20-30	3