Dusty bottle of wine

There are six dusty bottles of wine, all used for the Spookyraven Manor portion of the Quest for the Holy MacGuffin. They are:

• dusty bottle of Marsala
• dusty bottle of Merlot
• dusty bottle of Muscat
• dusty bottle of Pinot Noir
• dusty bottle of Port
• dusty bottle of Zinfandel

When Consumed

One of the following effects depending on the symbol seen on the bottle with Lord Spookyraven's spectacles equipped (first Ascension) or in inventory. Similar to the bang potions, results change from player to player and with ascension, but always have the same symbol.

Glyph	Result
	You drink the wine. You've had better, but you've had worse. You gain 3-4 Adventures. You gain 5-10 Strongness. You gain 5-10 Magicalness. You gain 5-10 Sarcasm. You gain 2 Drunkenness.
	You guzzle the entire bottle of wine before you realize that it has turned into vinegar. Bleeah. You acquire an effect: Full of Vinegar (duration: 10 Adventures)
	You drink the bottle of wine, then belch up a cloud of foul-smelling green smoke. Looks like this wine was infused with wormwood. Spoooooooky. You acquire an effect: Kiss of the Black Fairy (duration: 10 Adventures) You gain 3-4 Adventures. You gain 3-6 Muscleboundness. You gain 15-20 Enchantedness. You gain 3-6 Cheek. You gain 2 Drunkenness.
	This wine is fantastic! You gulp down the entire bottle, and feel great! You gain 5-7 Adventures. You gain 10-15 Strongness. You gain 10-15 Mysteriousness. You gain 10-15 Sarcasm. You gain 2 Drunkenness.
	You drink the wine. It tastes pretty good, but when you get to the bottom, it's full of sediment, which turns out to be powdered glass. Ow. You gain 3-4 Adventures. You gain 5-10 Strongness. You gain 5-10 Magicalness. You gain 5-10 Smarm. You lose some hit points. You gain 2 Drunkenness. (you lose 60%-70% of maximum hit points)
	You drink the wine, but it seems to have gone bad. Not in the "turned to vinegar" sense, but the "turned to crime" sense. It perpetrates some violence against you on the inside. You lose some hit points. You gain 2 Drunkenness. (you lose 80%-90% of maximum hit points)

Notes

• Even though Glyph Two wine does not add drunkenness, it is still booze and therefore cannot be consumed while falling-down drunk.
• If you lose all your HP from drinking the gone bad or sediment wines, you gain 4 adventures of Beaten Up instead of the usual 3.
• The item description for a dusty bottle of wine will always say the quality of the wine is "crappy", regardless of the glyph.

References

• The bottle of wine which was "infused with wormwood," and its effect, Kiss of the Black Fairy, probably reference absinthe; a liquor containing wormwood that is commonly referred to as The Green Fairy.
• The bottle of wine that is fantastic and that fact that you drink the whole bottle is probably a reference to the Jonathan Coulton song "I Feel Fantastic".