Hobelf (WC)

Hobelf
Monster ID	1050
Locations	CRIMBCO WC
Hit Points	40
Attack	30
Defense	30
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	hobo
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, leg, head, torso
Drops	bindlestocking, bottle of rum, bottle of tequila, bottle of whiskey, candy cane, Crimbo candied pecan, Crimbo fudge, Crimbo peppermint bark, eggnog, Mad Train wine, sleeping stocking, Tales of a Kansas Toymaker, The Joy of Wassailing, white lightning, Wint-O-Fresh mint
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting Giancarlo Bowtier, the Fruity as a Nut Cake

You slam open the first bathroom stall, and there's no one in there. The second stall has an occupant, but not a hobo elf -- you should probably apologize later. Finally, in the third stall you find a hobo elf trying to make a Crimbo cookie by heating dough in a spoon with a lighter. "Hey! Get outta here before I jingle your bells!" he shouts, leaping at you.

or

You open the bathroom door and find a grizzled hobo elf giving himself a sponge bath in the sink. He shouts, "Eeek! You brute!" and bum rushes you.

or

You slam open a door to a bathroom stall and find a hobo elf trying to roast chestnuts over a can of sterno. "Hey! A little privacy, longshanksh!" he shouts, and swings a tiny fist at you.

or

As you open the bathroom door, you see a hobo elf decking the stalls with boughs of holly. When he sees you watching, he shouts, "you're working for the alien yaks, aren't you?" and attacks.

or

You hear giggling coming from one of the stalls. You kick in the door and find a hobo elf, a female CRIMBCO elfployee, and some mistletoe. The elfployee leaves, you fight your gag reflex, and the hobo elf attacks you for cock-blocking.

or

You hear someone in a stall singing a song about how your grandmother got run over by a reindeer. You kick open the door and see a hobo elf, holding a candy cane shiv and just daring you to do something about the smack he's talking about your grandma.

or

You hear drunken singing coming from one of the bathroom stalls. Thankfully, when you kick the door in, the hobo elf in there isn't sitting on the toilet, just kneeling in front of it. Did you know elf vomit smells like nutmeg? It's true! Oh, and did you know that elf is about to kick your ass? It's true!

Hit Message(s):

not known

Critical Hit Message:

He utters a strange, ululating cry. A toothless yeti smashes an arm through the bathroom window and uses it to strangle the life out of you.

Miss Message(s):

He stops to go panhandle for more eggnog, candy canes, and peppermint schnapps.

He stops to stuff a nearby stocking.

He throws some ornaments at you, but you're too ornery to let them hit you.

He tosses a Crimbo cracker at you, but it's already been cracked.

He tries to toss a wreath around your neck, but you keep your hand at the level of your eyes.

He tries to strangle you with Crimbo lights, but you avoid festive strangulation.

Fumble Message:

not known

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After Combat

You acquire an item: bottle of rum (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: bottle of tequila (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: bottle of whiskey (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: white lightning (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Mad Train wine (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: candy cane (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: eggnog (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Wint-O-Fresh mint (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Crimbo fudge (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Crimbo peppermint bark (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Crimbo candied pecan (?% chance)*

You acquire an item: Tales of a Kansas Toymaker (?% chance)*

You gain ? <substat>.

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Occurs at the CRIMBCO WC.