Auteur elf: Difference between revisions

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imported>Khalrin
m updated hit info again... lol, update spam :(
imported>Khalrin
m pretty sure that's the correct critical
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|hit=He beans you with his camera. To be fair, it's a perfectly framed shot. {{ouch|6}}
|hit=He beans you with his camera. To be fair, it's a perfectly framed shot. {{ouch|6}}
He shouts, "Cut!" An elf walks by and stabs you with a pair of scissors. {{ouch|6}}


He incites a couple of elves to beat the stuffing out of you, then films the whole thing. Great, now you're beat-up and humiliated. {{ouch|6}}
He incites a couple of elves to beat the stuffing out of you, then films the whole thing. Great, now you're beat-up and humiliated. {{ouch|6}}
Line 15: Line 13:
He punches you in the face. It doesn't hurt much, but then he has to do it again for take after take until it's just right. {{ouch|6}}
He punches you in the face. It doesn't hurt much, but then he has to do it again for take after take until it's just right. {{ouch|6}}


|miss=
|critical=He shouts, "Cut!" An elf walks by and stabs you with a pair of scissors. {{ouch|6}}


He throws a couple of punches, but they're stage punches, so they whiff harmlessly in front of your face.
|miss=He throws a couple of punches, but they're stage punches, so they whiff harmlessly in front of your face.


He shouts, "Action!" Nothing happens.
He shouts, "Action!" Nothing happens.

Revision as of 07:43, 15 December 2009

Auteur elf
Monster ID 898
Locations Crimbo Town Toy Factory
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat 16-24
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance
Monster Parts torso, head, arm, leg
Drops elven cellocello, elven suicide capsule
Quest elf resistance button
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
auteur elf You're fighting an auteur elf

You see an elf sneaking around the factory, surreptitiously filming the assembly lines. "Hey, what are you doing?" you shout, weapon at the ready.

"I'm making a documentary film about the deplorable labor conditions in this factory," the elf replies. "You can't stop me, man! Information wants to be free!"

"Yeah," you snarl, "well, your eye wants to be black."

Hit Message(s):

He beans you with his camera. To be fair, it's a perfectly framed shot. Eek! Oof! Oof! Ow! Ooh! Eek!

He incites a couple of elves to beat the stuffing out of you, then films the whole thing. Great, now you're beat-up and humiliated. Eek! Eek! Oof! Eek! Ouch! Ouch!

He pops the film out of his camera and garottes you with it. That was an unexpected development. Ow! Ooh! Ouch! Eek! Argh! Argh!

He punches you in the face. It doesn't hurt much, but then he has to do it again for take after take until it's just right. Oof! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Eek! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He shouts, "Cut!" An elf walks by and stabs you with a pair of scissors. Ooh! Argh! Oof! Oof! Ow! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He throws a couple of punches, but they're stage punches, so they whiff harmlessly in front of your face.

He shouts, "Action!" Nothing happens.

He tries to strangle you with the film in his camera, but forgot he was shooting on digital.

He tries to hit you with his camera, but stops to berate a production assistant for wandering into the shot.

He calls for a makeup artist to take the shine off your nose before he punches it.

Fumble Message:

not known


After Combat

References

  • One of the miss messages refers to an incident in February 2009 where actor Christian Bale yelled at the director of photography on the set of Terminator Salvation, as the director allegedly walked into his line of sight during filming.