Naughty Sorceress Quest/Old

Description

So there's this sorceress, and she's quite naughty. As such, the council wants you to do something about it because you're a nice person like that. Go forth, adventurer, and defeat this evil being - as a reward, you will eventually ascend. (Finally implemented, on 6-9-05!)

Tasks

Required Items List

Take all these:

You'll need some of these:

keys: Boris's key digital key Jarlsberg's key Richard's star key skeleton key Sneaky Pete's key misc: star buckler star starfish ten-leaf clover stolen accordion wussiness potion thin black candle

1 of: star crossbow, staff, or sword 6 of: razor-sharp can lid, spider web, frigid ninja stars, can of hair spray, baseball, barbed-wire fence, sonar-in-a-biscuit, NG, disease, photoprotoneutron torpedo, chaos butterfly, or meat vortex 1 of: acoustic guitarrr or heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr 1 of: tambourine or bone rattle 1 of: Tasty Fun Good rice candy, marzipan skull, Angry Farmer candy balloon monkey (entirely optional, but opens an easter egg)

Entrance Cavern 1

Three Huge Doors

Door#	Effect Needed:	Obtained from:
1	Sugar Rush	Angry Farmer candy, marzipan skull, Tasty Fun Good rice candy, or Yummy Tummy bean
2	Wussiness	wussiness potion, Yummy Tummy bean
3	Rainy Soul Miasma	thin black candle, Yummy Tummy bean

The Huge Mirror

To get through the Huge Mirror, get naked. Unequip all items and your familiar's item. The mirror breaks, and gives you the huge mirror shard... and seven years of bad luck.

Entrance Cavern 2

A Perplexing Door

At the Perplexing Door, you insert each of the six keys, and solve a puzzle for each key:

Key:	Answer:	Item Obtained:
Boris's key	fish	fishbowl
Jarlsberg's key	phish	fishtank
Sneaky Pete's key	fsh	fish hose
digital key	Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A	stone tablet (Squeezings of Woe)
Richard's star key	equip star buckler, star starfish, and star staff, crossbow, or sword	stone tablet (Sinister Strumming)
skeleton key	carry a ten-leaf clover	stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm)
balloon monkey	none	easter egg balloon

A Perplexing Odor

Combine the following:

fish hose	fishtank
hosed tank		fishbowl
makeshift SCUBA gear

Equip the makeshift SCUBA gear and enter the Perplexing Odor.

The Stone Mariachis

If you gathered everything before adventuring you should be fine here. Just click on the mariachis after the door and odor.

You have to have in your inventory the following six items:

• stone tablet (Squeezings of Woe)
• stone tablet (Sinister Strumming)
• stone tablet (Really Evil Rhythm)
• acoustic guitarrr or heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr
• stolen accordion
• tambourine or bone rattle

The Hedge Maze

1. Adventure in the Hedge Maze until you get a hedge maze puzzle.
2. Use the puzzle and rotate the pieces to line up a path to the hedge maze key
3. Adventure again in the Hedge Maze to get the key.
4. Rotate the pieces to line up a path to the exit
5. Adventure again in the Hedge Maze to get to the Sorceress' Tower.

Tips

• If the puzzle is taken away while trying to solve it, adventure again at the Hedge Maze to get a new one.
• The topiary golems in the hedge maze are a very good enemy to fight to gain stats, but once the puzzle is solved you cannot adventure at the Hedge Maze. So, if you're looking to boost stats, this might be a good place to do it. This also has the advantage that you can collect multiple hedge maze puzzles, and only one puzzle is lost when the topiary golems steal them.

The Sorceress' Tower (The Stairs)

The Sorceress' Tower is a series of enemies which you cannot defeat on your own, you must use special items to kill them. They give many stats points when you beat them, so you should equip a blood-faced volleyball or hovering sombrero to make full use of the stat points. The monsters are different for each player.

Defeat:	Using:
Flaming Samurai	frigid ninja stars
Beer Batter	baseball
the Fickle Finger of F8	razor-sharp can lid
Enraged Cow	barbed-wire fence
Ice Cube	can of hair spray
Pretty Fly	spider web
Electron Submarine	photoprotoneutron torpedo
Giant Desktop Globe	NG
Vicious Easel	disease
Tyrannosaurus Tex	chaos butterfly
big meat golem	meat vortex
Cricket Bowler	sonar-in-a-biscuit

The Sorceress' Tower (Top)

Like the stairs, the adventures are randomized for each player. To an extent, that is. The events appear in the order below, but all people have different Codes, different Truth-Tellers, and different Familiar Foes.

Heavy Door and Light Door

1. Visit the Light Door to meet the guards
2. Decipher the code
3. Visit the Heavy Door and enter the code

Deciphering the Code

You have to figure out which of the four direction brothers, North, South, East, and West, are lying, telling the truth, doing both, or craving human flesh. The one that goes "Graaaaaagh" all the time craves human flesh. The one that is telling the truth all the time will tell you the secret code, and you can ignore the other three after you figure out which one it is.

The best way to figure this out is to list what each of the guards says.
For example:

N - X 6 3
E - 7 4 1
S - 5 2 3
answer = 5 6 3

Usually the one who only gives two digits is correct, but you have to find the missing digit. Take the missing digit from the one guard who matches one of the two correct numbers.

The Electrical Attack

Equip the huge mirror shard to deflect it.

Defeat your own Shadow

1. Go into battle fully healed and well armored.
2. Heal yourself with healing items and/or spells. The Shadow starts out with approximately 93 HP. red pixel potions have proved to be the best, or Doc Galaktik's strongest elixir.

The Familiars

To beat a	use a 20lb:
Barrrnacle	Angry Goat
Angry Goat	Mosquito
Mosquito	Sabre-Toothed Lime
Sabre-Toothed Lime	Levitating Potato
Levitating Potato	Barrrnacle

Your familiar should be at level 20 to beat the enemy. That level can be reached by buffs and other additions, but it can't be any lower than 20.

The Naughty Sorceress

You'll then have to beat the Naughty Sorceress in each of her 3 forms, with no break in between.

Suggestions:

• WAND OF NAGAMAR MUST be equipped! - you can't beat her third form without it
• do NOT rely on buffs - they will be removed anyways
• do NOT raise your stats - she scales to match you and it just makes her tougher
• items which increase your damage (in whatever form you use) are helpful
• familiars which damage the enemy are helpful

Strategy 1 - good armor & kick ass

Wear the Star Garb, use a fully leveled Ghost Pickle on a Stick, and hit her with your biggest damage spell you've got. Do that for the first 2 forms. If you have the Wand of Nagamar equipped, the third form is finished for you.

One other thing that might come in handy -- When she blocks your attacks, she tends to do so several times consecutively. Thus, if she blocks your biggest damage spell once, hit her with lesser damage (and lesser mana-using) spells until she stops blocking them, then switch back to the high-damage one.

Strategy 2 - lower moxie and take less damage

Use the Furry Suit (which lowers your Moxie significantly) and then go in there and keep launching spells. The Naughty Sorceress will have less moxie to defend against you and will do less damage when she hits you.

Seal Clubbers and Unbalanced Stats

High-level Seal Clubbers and characters with very unbalanced stats seem to have a particularly difficult time with the Sorceress. Try equipping the Furry Suit, 3 Flaming talons (for extra damage), and a fully leveled Ghost Pickle on a Stick with a Skewer-mounted razor blade. Use the Lunging Thrust-Smack skill, or your strongest damage dealing skill. Another way is to just simply attack using the wand of n... and then having a ghost pickle on a stick which will do about 22 damage often to the nc, and drop acid on them.

She's dead. Now what?

Once you DO reach the top and have freed the king, you don't have to ascend right away. You can finish your business in this life, and then enter the portal. When you do enter the portal, you will spend some time in Valhalla and then choose your ascension path.

Rewards

Ascension!