Rare Items

A rare item is an item which exists in the kingdom but is either difficult or very expensive (usually both) to obtain.

Some rares are extremely rare drops in the kingdom (such as the Ultra Rares) while others are items which can only be obtained as special gifts (such as the Radio Free Regalia). Still others are items which used to drop in the kingdom but no longer do (like the gasmask), while some are gifts which were given to everyone on a specific date, such as the Crimbo Pressie. Also included are hacked Items, as well as items used solely for testing and never available outside of exploits.

A custom item is a one-of-a-kind item specially designed for a specific player. These items are given out (in the words of Mr. Skullhead) "for whatever we feel like".

Ultra-rare drops

• beet
• Crazy bastard sword
• hockey stick of furious angry rage
• hypnodisk
• incredibly dense meat gem
• spooky hockey mask
• Talisman of Baio

Gifts still available

• Radio Free Baseball Cap
• Radio Free Foil
• Radio Free Pants
• Radio button candy
• Bugfinder Blade
• Bigger Bugfinder Blade

Gifts no longer available

• Acqua Del Piatto Merlot
• Acque Luride Grezze Cabernet
• Maiali Sifilitici Pinot Noir
• Spasmi Dolorosi Del Rene Champagne
• Uovo Marcio Shiraz
• cement shoes
• Mafia stogie
• Mafia violin case
• Mafia bow tie
• old school Mafia knickerbockers
• Crimbo Pressie (and by extension wrapping paper, present, Crimbo hat, Crimbo pants and Crimbo sword)
• Crimbo stocking
• small Crimbo Pressie
• bow (and by extension bowler, bow staff and bowlegged pants)
• extra special Crimbo Stocking
• tiny plastic sword
• Hanukkimbo dreidl
• imitation nice watch
• N. O. Beer
• blank white card
• Warehouse 23 bling (given to the members of Warehouse 23, plus Arbitrage)
• Big ol' trophy
• Consolation ribbon
• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• Oriole-feather headdress

Items no longer purchasable

• Ferita Del Petto Zinfandel
• severed rocking horse head (can be purchased in the Mall, but not the contract that delivered it)
• Mob Penguin protection contract

See also the former Specials of the Month from Mr. Store.

Hacked Items

• Ascension Souvenir T-Shirt
• birthday candle
• can of Red Minotaur
• Childrens' Meal of the Damned
• voodoo doll

Items used for testing

• Mr. Shirt
• off-hand balloon
• serrated proboscis extension

Items which no longer drop

• demonskin trousers
• gasmask
• Mr. Container
• Newbiesport™ backpack
• hemp backpack
• Gnollish nunchaku
• guild application
• Guild Pants
• Ent cider
• stone of eXtreme power (and by extension eXtreme meat crossbow, eXtreme meat staff, eXtreme meat sword, and eXtreme nose ring)

Items from the Spectral Pickle Factory

• dill (and by extension dill potion)
• brine (and by extension especially salty dog)
• vinegar (and by extension briny vinegar and ghostly pickling solution)
• ghost cucumber (and by extension spectral pickle and ghost pickle on a stick)

All these items will be available again when the factory (presumably) returns.

Untradeable rares

• Mr. Exploiter (can be purchased from Uncle P's Antiques)
• Time Juice (Given to all players after The Council of Loathing time juice fund ended)
• Yeti Protest Sign (used to drop once per player at The Icy Peak)
• orange traffic cone (only available on rollover after the first St. Sneaky Pete's Day)
• yellow traffic cone (only available on rollover after the second St. Sneaky Pete's Day)
• red traffic cone (only available on rollover after the third St. Sneaky Pete's Day)
• pirate hook (Given to certain players on September 19th (International Talk Like A Pirate Day))

Custom Items

• exclusive ultra-rare item (given to Phoenix)
• MAHI fez (given to Boozerbear)
• heteroerotic frat-paddle (given to Mr. Skullhead)
• especially homoerotic frat-paddle (Given to Xenophobe)
• fetus-smashing club (given to Bashy)
• bugbear-smiting sword (given to spazworrier)
• intergalactic pom poms (given to skipperic)
• arse-shooting crossbow (given to Kucolan)
• fuzzy bracelets (given to Mick)
• Xlyinia's notebook (given to Xlyinia)
• Totally Gay Claymore (given to Philanthropist)
• Stupid University Diploma (given to Prima Vera Angelhair)
• Conspicuous lack of pants (given to EyeSpeculum)
• Mjolnir Jr. (given to Thor the Mighty)

Others

• Item #13 (Never truly "available", unknown whether or not they are currently in the same state)
• one million meat pancakes (Technically a gift, Then duped many times. No longer given away.)
• steaming evil (technically a hacked item, though generally considered legitimate)
• Oyster Eggs (available on Oyster Egg Day)
• tiny plastic Boris
• tiny plastic Jarlsberg
• tiny plastic Sneaky Pete
• tiny plastic Susie (all four are available rarely from Lucky Surprise Eggs)

Items that aren't rare but used to be

• pail (used to drop, then didn't for a while, now a quest reward)
• dungeoneer's dungarees (used to drop, then stopped dropping, then started dropping again in a different place)
• beanbag chair (originally gifts from Jick, they now have a recipe in place to make them)
• meaty helmet turtle (originally hacked items, they were later implemented)
• hovering sombrero (possessed by one or two people months before implementation of South of the Border)

Items that have been completely removed from the game

• cranmopolitan
• Double-Minty Gum (replaced by lime-and-chile-flavored chewing gum)
• Quadruple-Minty Gum (replaced by jabañero-flavored chewing gum)
• Single-Minty Gum (replaced by tamarind-flavored chewing gum)
• skewered cranberry
• Sober Pill
• supermartini (replaced by dry martini)
• superolive (replaced by jumbo olive)
• Triple-Minty Gum (replaced by pickle-flavored chewing gum)